tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2045497777497650522024-03-05T23:44:33.424-06:00Celebrating LifeLiving curiously through mindfulness, yoga, meditation and body-centered awareness.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-53307622085312702502017-02-16T00:13:00.003-06:002017-02-17T00:27:32.377-06:00Sensitive Folks and The Collective Choas<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Many people dealing with anxiety are actually very sensitive to the energy and feelings of others. So instead of just feeling your emotions in a given situation, you feel yours <i>and</i> the emotions of those around you. This seems to be even moreso the case when the emotions are difficult ones, like fear or grief or anger. Imagine when those emotions are amplified hundreds-fold as is the case in our country (and even the world) today? This chaos of emotions exists in what I'll refer to as "the Collective" (i.e. the combined nervous systems/energies of the people in our country and the world today).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5ewH6A1hYb_AQVmt0mxMLwGOHE87zyYj9XdkVhcqHC6AbCdeP3kx00Myfv5Q2dIcuH5ADKkAOf9v6N2KEgt4i_hU8TGJ2jOAV0R8kEKSPqMnUj8KaclWVmR64YSpyIYHiaUK8mHnmyJE/s1600/Mirror.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5ewH6A1hYb_AQVmt0mxMLwGOHE87zyYj9XdkVhcqHC6AbCdeP3kx00Myfv5Q2dIcuH5ADKkAOf9v6N2KEgt4i_hU8TGJ2jOAV0R8kEKSPqMnUj8KaclWVmR64YSpyIYHiaUK8mHnmyJE/s1600/Mirror.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">How do you know if you're sensitive/empathic? If you've walked into a room without knowing people were arguing and felt the "prickly" energy left in the air, or if you've walked by someone without even looking at them and suddenly felt an overwhelming emotion that wasn't there before, there's a good chance you're empathic. Other people may have told you in your life: "You're just waaay too sensitive. Relax!" (Probably didn't feel very empathic when you wanted to smack them for saying that for the 100th time!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">One of the disadvantages of being an empath is that if you don't realize that what you're feeling isn't yours at all, your mind tries to explain what you're feeling based on the state of your life at the moment. And of course it is always easy to come up with reasons why you're anxious or to think of people who've upset you. And in no time at all those emotions that you picked up from someone else have become yours.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Another challenge facing empathic folks is that unless taught otherwise, we feel like we have to take on, or absorb the suffering around us in order to be helpful. The rub is that if you absorb someone else's suffering, you don't really lessen what they are feeling, you just add yourself to the number of people who are suffering! And now that you're also in pain, how much help can you be to the person whose suffering you've absorbed?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhPP99L0-bsgu10x7YRY73BTqLO6g-WQ781ZDQaFAUvmxRYSgBxXAn1Q2PVdwcBgGh8jaeB3cFDoK8-xj5KGH198igetaFRsLs_3kbWwRyeleTz6e0C-sByuCtGYGpFwGEttc1I138OVo/s1600/hands+around+the+world.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhPP99L0-bsgu10x7YRY73BTqLO6g-WQ781ZDQaFAUvmxRYSgBxXAn1Q2PVdwcBgGh8jaeB3cFDoK8-xj5KGH198igetaFRsLs_3kbWwRyeleTz6e0C-sByuCtGYGpFwGEttc1I138OVo/s320/hands+around+the+world.jpg" width="320" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The learning for the empath is to be able to recognize what we are reflecting from others without absorbing it. Sensitive people can be great healers and teachers because we can sense in ourselves what is happening in someone else. If we choose not to absorb or take on the other person's suffering, we can instead be present for it and available to help if help is needed. Most often anyway, friends and loved ones simply want to be seen and heard, not fixed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In our current socio-political climate, it is critical that we are able to do this, or we risk being swallowed up by the Collective panic. How to do this? Mindfulness of course is helpful:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">1. Check in with your immediate environment and ask yourself: "Am I and my loved ones physically safe in <i>this</i> moment?" Notice what happens in your nervous system when you can say yes to that questions (I do hope you can say yes to that question!!) Much of what causes anxiety is the fear of what we assume will be a horrible future. While it is important to look out for the future, it is just as important to make sure we aren't suffering that horrible future before it even happens. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">2. Ask yourself: "How much of this fear/anxiety/disquiet is mine? How much is The Collective's?" You may be surprised that you can distinguish this in some way. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Please note: You do not need to be responsible for the Collective anxiety! There is no way for one person to run all that fear through themselves and be functional. While it seems noble, it is in no way helpful. You are a part of the Collective, so what you do with yourself affects the whole. The more functional you are, the more effective you will be at whatever acts of service you decide to do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">3. When you have a sense of what anxiety is yours to take responsibility for, use the skills you know to regulate yourself. Long exhales; somatic grounding through feeling your feet on the floor, your seat on your chair, your back on the back of your chair; focusing on something pleasant in your environment; meditating; making something beautiful; reading poetry. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">If you don't know any skills for managing your anxiety, now would be a good time to learn some. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Check in with a mindfulness class, yoga teacher or a body-centered therapist.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><a href="http://www.cbwstudio.com/" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;" target="_blank">CBW Studio</a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> has some great workshops coming up.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> A daily self-regulating practice of some kind is essential self care for empaths at this point in our history. Also, while it is important to be informed, it's also really important to be circumspect in terms of what you take in. As yourself, "Is this serving my ability to be effective, or not?"</span></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRrI5O0OlUYAVUMQYFULu5ndAACC9YirLbx_uPLpHEi1oJ5Nr96E7Y1aLJf9QiVsIIRGsCzAKAb2yRzXzpSMF22D5l193rPl1W2o_xxfba9ffp2ZgEAf-IjfH75e7-FMwJUUHwUTVraaw/s1600/hatehasnohomehere.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRrI5O0OlUYAVUMQYFULu5ndAACC9YirLbx_uPLpHEi1oJ5Nr96E7Y1aLJf9QiVsIIRGsCzAKAb2yRzXzpSMF22D5l193rPl1W2o_xxfba9ffp2ZgEAf-IjfH75e7-FMwJUUHwUTVraaw/s320/hatehasnohomehere.jpg" width="320" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">4. Once you're regulated, think about what you can do to effectively be of service. There are tons of volunteering opportunities available. Some people have the courage and stamina for big jobs and others don't. You might just chose to be kind and compassionate to your neighbors and thus increase the level of positive emotions moving through the Collective, or donate clothes to refugees, or put a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=hate%20has%20no%20home%20here" target="_blank">Hate Has No Home Here</a> sign in your yard, or make calls or send emails to your political representatives. Action is the antidote to fear. Loving action works even better. Judging and antagonizing each other? Not so much.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-25801270712042937012016-12-06T01:24:00.000-06:002016-12-06T21:10:14.007-06:00Loving Your Anxiety<span style="font-size: 18px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Love Your Anxiety (Or at least get to know it)</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzmztLshWLsBGa3i-ApxVCbQGD-v7PM_GUQE0IwGb9tQerbSC2WSAeqTci5Kr0jlPcyKIGkn3IXl4VwM4KYImiq61GpOVZjbwHrTVPkhzaKVGepYkMnMn0B21szn8NL90eLagw0hEyGo4/s1600/10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzmztLshWLsBGa3i-ApxVCbQGD-v7PM_GUQE0IwGb9tQerbSC2WSAeqTci5Kr0jlPcyKIGkn3IXl4VwM4KYImiq61GpOVZjbwHrTVPkhzaKVGepYkMnMn0B21szn8NL90eLagw0hEyGo4/s320/10.jpg" width="212" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I know it sounds crazy to even imagine "loving" your anxiety. But one of the fundamental truths about being human is that we have emotions, including anxiety. What makes us human is that we also have the ability to make meaning of our experiences and that meaning-making is what turns a simple emotion into a recipe for disaster.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Anxiety is fear of a future negative outcome. Stress has to do with not wanting to be in the present that you find yourself in. We imagine that outcome over a range from slight discomfort to a major catastrophe. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some amount of sympathetic nervous system activation (which causes stress and anxiety) is needed to keep us cautious and therefore keep us safe. But the anxious state is meant to be a short-term, action-inducing state. So when anxiety runs amok, our bodies suffer. There's a fascinating book called "<a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwi2rdmghd_QAhVCOyYKHUT6Dv8QFggkMAI&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FWhy-Zebras-Dont-Ulcers-Third%2Fdp%2F0805073698&usg=AFQjCNF8fNHyRrnwOPk8J_ijRAXhV3_Bpg&sig2=6DXLLQPTUUz3cQ1FugcEkA" target="_blank">Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers</a>" that describes all the different body systems that are affected when stress hormones predominate in the body.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Stress and anxiety happen in the mind <i>and</i> the body. The mind has a random thought that we believe, and the body reacts with tension and often uncomfortable sensations in the gut or the chest. Tightness in the body often restricts breathing as well which can lead to a hold host of other sensations. All this discomfort creates a state of mind that is geared toward getting away from the discomfort at all costs, leading to smoking, drinking, overeating, yelling at your loved ones, etc. Too much anxiety can even lead to a crash, which then feels like depression. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So what's the solution? Love your anxiety (ok, I know that's not going to happen!). At the </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTDn9qKe2nYbv9t-Hpj-nw7hySYeJIQO2b7d5QeHmQh4G1cLTZK2rvXuxHnzH8ZEZ3i4UE5NM7vKraj5pnTmwJ5SzCPZG5DRRlB4EyLkG4f_sks0alQ4uIspIMOMX-2twhJgk11vVGhMs/s1600/happy_penguin.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTDn9qKe2nYbv9t-Hpj-nw7hySYeJIQO2b7d5QeHmQh4G1cLTZK2rvXuxHnzH8ZEZ3i4UE5NM7vKraj5pnTmwJ5SzCPZG5DRRlB4EyLkG4f_sks0alQ4uIspIMOMX-2twhJgk11vVGhMs/s320/happy_penguin.JPG" width="213" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">very least, though, to change and anxious state we need to acknowledge and accept that it is happening. Anxiety is part of our self-protective capacity. It is an indicator of something that needs attention. It is a call to action. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What's your anxious feeling telling you? Maybe it's telling you you're overworked and need a break? Maybe it's telling you that you don't feel safe or fulfilled in your current relationship or career? Or maybe it is telling you that you have some work to do on your self-confidence or ability to set boundaries? In order to figure out what it is telling us, we need to pause and listen while recognizing that the emotions don't have to control us, we do have a choice about how to feel. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some simple ways to work with an anxious mood in the moment:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Allow it to be without judging it as "bad" or "wrong" or somehow a sign of your failure. The extra layer of "shoulding" just makes the anxiety worse.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Be curious about what triggered the anxious state.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Give your anxiety something to do. Anxiety often shows up in the body as a jittery feeling. This is excess energy in need of direction. So dance, shake, shimmy, walk, run, do some vigorous yoga. Get the energy out <i>and then</i> try to do something a bit more quieting.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Notice the anxiety as body tension and let go of tension in the muscles. Tight shoulders? Let them drop. Tight jaw? Let <i>it</i> drop.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Uncomfortable sensation in the belly? That might be just the result of the abdominal muscles tensing. You might take over the tension (tighten your ab muscles) and then stop tensing, allowing the muscles to let go.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We humans seem to have a natural tendency to catastrophize. Maybe instead of catastrophising, ask yourself: "OK, it feels like everything could go wrong, and is there any way this could go <i>right</i>?"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Pay attention to your exhales, even making them longer. Exhaling lowers your heartrate, which gets elevated during stress.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ask for help. Social interaction with a safe, supportive other is one of the ways that we humans calm down.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Stay away from coffee - yep, coffee drinkers have been shown to have random spikes in their anxiety during the day.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Look around your environment, recognizing that you're physically safe and that there aren't any threats in your immediate vicinity. You might notice and name 3 objects that you see, 2 sounds you hear, and one thing you feel with your sense of touch. or you might count all the objects you see of a certain color or shape. Anything that breaks up the circular or negative thought pattern that is making you anxious.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Of course there are many other ways to deal with anxiety, including lifestyle habits of getting enough sleep and exercise. Do you have a favorite? Share it with us! </span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com13525 W Peterson Ave #607, Chicago, IL 60659, USA41.9899617 -87.7172312999999816.467927200000002 -129.02582529999998 67.5119962 -46.408637299999981tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-51165642197408253772016-07-11T01:06:00.000-05:002016-07-11T01:06:35.813-05:00Getting Caught Up<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlcC-1tySeOd_otjIPq1upc0jRARqrQX15FXndI3V17_t4UNCIHFhnvbMZqb_PAUuaeFMmOv4TVDtls7G5qFg0MDmPXlPe6hDNZt6sic-tL_JlWnKGdy3JQZHeI52d0y8nasXiVvmbFtM/s1600/hands+around+the+world.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlcC-1tySeOd_otjIPq1upc0jRARqrQX15FXndI3V17_t4UNCIHFhnvbMZqb_PAUuaeFMmOv4TVDtls7G5qFg0MDmPXlPe6hDNZt6sic-tL_JlWnKGdy3JQZHeI52d0y8nasXiVvmbFtM/s320/hands+around+the+world.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This may end up being an unpopular view, but I’ve been
grappling with this inquiry for a week now and decided to just let it out. Would love to hear others' thoughts on this...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At the Awaken Chicago conference a few months ago, Pema Chödron spoke on anger. She
mentioned an ancient Buddhist text that referred to our human tendency to try to fight
against the issues “out there” (i.e. in the world outside of us) in order to
resolve our anger. This text concluded that the person who does that ends up
perpetually angry and even more frequently frustrated because there will always
be issues “out there” to make us angry. In the end, the only way to truly resolve
our issues (and to effectively work towards solving the issues “out there”) is to <i>also</i> work with those feelings within
ourselves.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In light of this teaching, I’ve been thinking about all the recent horrific events which,
through the vehicle of technology, have been brought to our awareness. Events fueled by the prejudice that leads to fear
and hatred, and then to violence and injustice. I've been thinking about how the seeds of that hatred live
inside every human being. Each of us has that seed in us, and it is the very rare
human who has not watered that seed in any way. We are animals, and studies
have shown that fear or avoidance of “other” is in fact an inherent human tendency just
as it is for all members of the animal kingdom. We have the benefit/liability
of a brain that perceives “other” even in members of our own species. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of
course it is unconscionable to harm innocent others because of that perceived difference.
Of course it is. And of course it is important to quickly and decisively act to
restore justice when injustice rears its head. And still there is the question
of how do we heal that propensity for prejudice & discrimination within our
collective? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When actions are performed out of fear, anger, prejudice and
hatred, do we heal that tendency in our collective by allowing it free reign
within ourselves? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BHlrqY1ALLi/" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUFSiUKR39-cMMVwKvuiLPn9YSr3MeuOQN4vah-9DR_1s21nhnIjyWjKu5bjxszL6x0gqEypBGRvFZck_bZRS0U0xHji9Hq3rV-1YufhQb8jHBgMc8L6h_nnpIbgayHw-cLWrxpDfauT4/s320/13557191_1740239416243356_1565444668_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pema spoke of that ancient text which suggested that the only
way to heal is if we are each able to hold our anger “in the cradle of loving
kindness.” I interpret that to mean that I have to recognize & acknowledge my
own feelings of anger, prejudice and hatred with compassion even as I seek to
change what is happening in the collective. Let’s not forget that each of us as
individuals make up the collective. Humanity is us, not “us” & “them.” What
is the use of me insisting that white people, rich people, police, the 1%, etc
should not act out of prejudice, hatred, greed and anger if I meet their
behavior with, and indeed cultivate the very same tendencies? If I refuse to
acknowledge those same tendencies (even if lesser in degree) in myself, why should I expect anyone else
to? Isn’t the popular wisdom that you can’t solve a problem with the same
energy that created it? Not to mention the damage I do to my mental and physical health by perpetuating that bitterness, anger and hatred.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is appropriate aggression, and then there is getting “caught
up.” The media likes for us to be caught up. It’s a ratings booster. It’s true
the media is helping to uncover the nastiness that needs to be brought into the
light of day so that it can be transformed. And yet, when we are so caught up
that we take individual behaviors and generalize those to entire groups, to the
point where innocent members of those groups become targets, are we changing
the propensity for prejudice-fueled injustice in the collective? Or are we
perpetuating it?</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-54828566650439100362016-05-30T20:07:00.002-05:002016-05-30T20:07:50.460-05:00The dialectic of our differences<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJOXJVsA0H5dpK7QOrXqbKzMjQp_oUPvAnYkWrzo_f7xX3atU2AVngaJcN0ZGsKWE6wBucAWAJ_Pz1uXcYl0SYwMUozeQze1CgkcKM5VQMRqkbtaai4Yi2lKP_kU9hFVTnixsqtekdgiw/s1600/xmenapocalypseimax.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJOXJVsA0H5dpK7QOrXqbKzMjQp_oUPvAnYkWrzo_f7xX3atU2AVngaJcN0ZGsKWE6wBucAWAJ_Pz1uXcYl0SYwMUozeQze1CgkcKM5VQMRqkbtaai4Yi2lKP_kU9hFVTnixsqtekdgiw/s320/xmenapocalypseimax.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Went to see X-Men Apocalypse with my family today (loved it - except for what they did with Storm's character!) and been catching up on Agents of Shield. Ok, yes, I admit it I'm a sci-fi/superhero fan.<br />
<br />
So the theme in the latest Agents of Shield and in this Apocalypse move is of villains who think that the world will be a much better place if only everyone does what they say. If we're all the same then we will have peace on earth and none of this nasty fighting against each other that human's seem wont to engage in.<br />
<br />
The thing I realized is that this isn't so far-fetched from what we human's actually think. We see it playing out in political arenas right now. If only we all believe the same thing then we'd have peace. Of course "the same thing" is each of our own particular thing. But really, would that bring peace at all? We humans are a pretty contrary lot. No matter how much we want to be the same, we will always find a way to be different. And really, isn't it our differences that make humanity awesome? The dialectic is that these differences can also make us dangerous to each other... We're all human in the end. Scared for our survival and yearning for connection. What would happen if we didn't demonize each other I wonder?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-20241496563004459272016-01-05T23:31:00.000-06:002016-01-05T23:36:57.517-06:00The Pursuit of Happiness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggXKtW0ZipW8LW8lCEIQ-gwg9L3NNQG_ngATcCHlgJZWFiOsL3zhCOQzhj-vXYkSRUCcquidabK55pNooaeDyfayB410zoScWEyzoJnABcdcca8JLlur8A2XKmHq200Rqelqw6HmWE-p8/s1600/edg13880.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggXKtW0ZipW8LW8lCEIQ-gwg9L3NNQG_ngATcCHlgJZWFiOsL3zhCOQzhj-vXYkSRUCcquidabK55pNooaeDyfayB410zoScWEyzoJnABcdcca8JLlur8A2XKmHq200Rqelqw6HmWE-p8/s320/edg13880.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Happy 2016!</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I saw an ad for a course recently that promised “total happiness”
as one of the course’s outcomes (along with “your best body and beyond” – and
all in less than a month!). Isn't that how New Year's resolutions are made? Out of the pursuit of happiness?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve realized in my years as a therapist that there
is an underlying message in our culture in general – or perhaps it’s best to
say in our society in general, because there really isn’t just one “American”
culture – that if we’re doing this human thing right, we should be happy. And apparently we should be happy <i>all the
time</i> no matter what happens. I’m curious about how this came to be, but the
main issue I have with this premise is that when people find themselves
unhappy, there is often a presumption of failure. If I’m supposed to be happy
(all the time) and I find that my life situation has caused sadness or despair
or frustration or anger then it must mean that I’m failing at this thing called
“being human.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The reality is, that by virtue of landing in a human body
(however you believe that happened), you were set up for a life experience that
likely will include a wide range of emotions, of which happiness is only one.
Even the most optimistic of souls (and I live with one of those souls)
occasionally gets sad, disappointed, frustrated and even angry. Every human experiences
physical and emotional pain. It’s part of the package. It’s not a sign of
failure. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now there is the definite possibility, especially if your
life involved overwhelming trauma, that your human system might actually no
longer remember how to recognize pleasure. If that’s the case then there is
some work to be done. Pleasure is part of our birthright. It’s part of the
package. For happiness to happen, in my opinion, the ability to experience
that which pleases us is required. And through the wonders of neuroplasticity, human
systems - even after years of deprivation - can learn to recognize pleasure.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So while happiness isn’t necessarily the goal, a complete
lack of happiness is also an indication of a system that’s lost its ability to
be resilient. (Not a failure, an indication of a need for more resiliency). Daniel Siegel describes “integration” as the healthiest human
state. Peter Levine discusses being in a state of flow. Either way, we are able
to have the capacity to experience the range of life’s experiences, to be
present for life and make some choices about how we want to respond, rather
than going into reactivity. (And really, even reactivity is part of the
package!) When we are in an integrated state of flow we are able to allow life to happen. We can be with
ourselves, and others, as we are - happy, sad, lonely, joyful, disappointed, angry. We don't have to get stuck in any one of these. Isn’t that a worthier pursuit than happiness?<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-39628514678994981992015-10-18T00:05:00.002-05:002015-10-18T00:42:05.914-05:00Re-emerging & Expanding<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeqLk0sSystFUFpxvifauHXxeeuzrOuhUmsqOnv07ZqasSAoKLG7OzrY4P7fPUghyphenhyphen7Nq5TcKydc-O-_i7ogslQO4gvtbYamDp_3sqpEfoE6bQ5nI85n-2GesKj7_hqSLmW3vxOjSsbJpI/s1600/IMG_0022.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeqLk0sSystFUFpxvifauHXxeeuzrOuhUmsqOnv07ZqasSAoKLG7OzrY4P7fPUghyphenhyphen7Nq5TcKydc-O-_i7ogslQO4gvtbYamDp_3sqpEfoE6bQ5nI85n-2GesKj7_hqSLmW3vxOjSsbJpI/s320/IMG_0022.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Monarch butterfly cococon (yes, it looks like a jade<br />
jewel with sparkles!)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you've read my blog before, thanks for checking back - it's been a long time! If you're new, welcome! I hope you're inspired or that this sparks some thoughts that help add even just a little ease to this journey of life. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Having made the decision to resurrect this blog, I decided
to go back and read previous blog posts to remind myself of what I wrote in the
past. I found myself appreciating the wisdom I’ve
gained over the years and grateful for the teachers who have helped me to learn
those valuable lessons so that I could pass them on to others. Of course it is a continuing journey, and the more we learn, the more there is to discover!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When we are able to step back and notice the patterns and
cycles of our lives, one of the things that becomes most apparent is that humans change
through cycles of expansion and contraction (or what I like to call cocooning). After
many years of cocooning, I feel as if I’m finally expanding again. And it feels
good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After reading over the entries in this blog, I shifted to
read<a href="http://sourceisyou.wordpress.com/" target="_blank"> my old Wordpress blog</a>. I realized I’ve
been writing since September of 2008! And some pretty decent reflections if I
may say so myself. The thing is that I’ve actually been scared of people
reading what I wrote. So energetically, even though I was putting it out there,
I was still doubting and hesitant about how it would be received. – still holding
back. And apparently the time for </span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBfHAcoIrGx0jvt45ejrgqJOru10e-3Ny8fY-cjZ8ZN7ZxM1g9z72JSxAiKzUnna6nb1Tbl-j5-yCgGmiShNHeZhZ6L5JHKeNv7mGC3nzlkePURXqWkEggLY8uglCJ7D5zf54ugh8bxv0/s1600/IMG_0032.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBfHAcoIrGx0jvt45ejrgqJOru10e-3Ny8fY-cjZ8ZN7ZxM1g9z72JSxAiKzUnna6nb1Tbl-j5-yCgGmiShNHeZhZ6L5JHKeNv7mGC3nzlkePURXqWkEggLY8uglCJ7D5zf54ugh8bxv0/s320/IMG_0032.JPG" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Cocoon just before the butterfly emerges.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
holding back is over.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So instead of writing something new this time, I want to
share some of my favorite posts. I’d love to hear comments and feedback,
complements or constructive (!) criticism. Ultimately my hope is that the stuff
I write will help the readers to be more compassionate toward themselves as
humans. In the end I think we’re all trying to live the best lives we can.
And sometimes it sure ain’t easy!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, here are my favorites from my old blog 2008-2010. Next
time I’ll post the favorites from this current blog.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #414141; line-height: 107%;"><a href="https://sourceisyou.wordpress.com/2008/12/05/peace-begins-with-me" target="_blank">Peace Begins with Me</a>.
If we want peace in the world, ultimately it means each human has to become
more peaceful (since “the world” is made up of humans, right?) So what if we
each committed to being just a little more peaceful? What kind of a change
would that make??</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #414141; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggmd6hOCkfNEe1LBz-YT_4J_42EYDxRtlO8gyTjIKUFQ45HIGVioLZ16sSjotO1scT8fnrJPGUYZfyGU5p1zHeTXvqNSa6epjDg8qZHXzgo5uBgg_9__UtcpCZ2AFoWyenxDQ4MUcVMCQ/s1600/IMG_0027.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggmd6hOCkfNEe1LBz-YT_4J_42EYDxRtlO8gyTjIKUFQ45HIGVioLZ16sSjotO1scT8fnrJPGUYZfyGU5p1zHeTXvqNSa6epjDg8qZHXzgo5uBgg_9__UtcpCZ2AFoWyenxDQ4MUcVMCQ/s320/IMG_0027.JPG" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Freshly emerged Monarch butterfly</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(in my kitchen!)</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://sourceisyou.wordpress.com/2009/11/22/what-is-your-net-effect/" target="_blank">What’s Your Net Effect?</a> is about being conscious of how our internal state is as much a
part of the effect we have on the world as our outer actions: “<span style="color: #414141; line-height: 107%;">I have begun to wonder, if we do all the work
we can toward making the world a better place, but do it from a place of anger,
judgment and self-righteousness, what kind of change are we really affecting?
Do we in effect cancel out any good we’ve done? Do we end up with a net effect
of zero?</span>”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span font-family:="" ms="" sans-serif="" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;" trebuchet=""><a href="https://sourceisyou.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/more-peaceful-or-less-stressed-you-choose/" target="_blank">More Peaceful or Less Stressed? You Choose</a>: “…<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #414141; line-height: 107%;">when we say “I want to be less stressed” we
actually focus on the stress and indeed perpetuate the notion of our
stressfulness. On the contrary when we say “I want to be more peaceful” the
mind hears “peaceful” and there is a subtle quieting that takes place within
the body without any additional effort.</span>”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://sourceisyou.wordpress.com/2010/01/09/giving-up-the-quest-lessons-in-being-present/" target="_blank">Giving Up the Quest: Lessons In Being Present</a> talks about realizing that this spiritual journey can become warped into a kind of consumerism - a wanting to be something other than who we are. Sometimes the best thing is to
realize that we’re really ok as we are.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Enjoy! And let me know what you think….</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-78305129353987982222012-12-10T17:58:00.000-06:002012-12-10T17:58:09.922-06:00Learning from your past self<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9PmuRV-78JTEx7h8V3D93JmMLXLug13FBtkLwGTzN954302LhMINlvvfLsuYSg_2vAH4TlCVnh4U-j5XJ41rXxDZm18VTBF5slSmvY9yIWKNbWOLJeBG78Sga9uDgUkQ85yT1LxAgozk/s1600/IMG_0248.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9PmuRV-78JTEx7h8V3D93JmMLXLug13FBtkLwGTzN954302LhMINlvvfLsuYSg_2vAH4TlCVnh4U-j5XJ41rXxDZm18VTBF5slSmvY9yIWKNbWOLJeBG78Sga9uDgUkQ85yT1LxAgozk/s320/IMG_0248.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Cleaning up the files on my computer I found the file of an old blog post <a href="http://sourceisyou.blogspot.com/2010/02/ghost-in-house-shaking-up-i.html" target="_blank">A Ghost In The House</a> which I wrote ages ago. As I read it I thought: "Ya, that's really true, I should do that!!"<br />
<br />
Sometimes we fall back into our patterns, even when we know a different way to be. Writing helps us keep a record of what we know to be true. A journal is a great way to keep track of insights and new awarenesses that may be forgotten. You could keep a journal either on paper or online. You could even create a "journal" email address and send emails to yourself at that address. Then you can read them over later. You can send yourself letters of encouragement or reminders of the ways you appreciate yourself and your life.<br />
<br />
In that post I talk about letting go of my need to be right. As I become more aware , I realize how much that need is a misdirected attempt at self-protection. It's based on the premise: "If I'm right then I'm safe and my sense of myself is safe. If I'm not right then my sense of self is threatened." My bodymind responds to this threat as if it is real. But it isn't.<br />
<br />
There are lots of situations that we interpret as threatening even though they actually have no ability to really harm us. We go into a "fight or flight" response (or freeze or collapse/shut down) without recognizing that we're responding as if we're physically threatened. What is really threatened is our sense of self. If that can be allowed to be changeable, then we needn't be so afraid of the opinions of others.<br />
<br />
Beyond your opinions, beliefs, knowledge, titles and possessions, who are you really? Are you curious about the essence beyond the armor? What is your authentic self?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-30780129947762562412012-12-07T12:16:00.001-06:002012-12-07T12:16:16.057-06:00Change happens. Move with the cheese!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitaZnD_PBClRErWy9IguNtmD66NQPRANDEMXMvjub-iVUDcUchfchAOCOPHAV_J-iJ0nKp5IpJu5_K2SMW13wDqFyTI0KWXSOm6c1Y9o47VEglaW5ukdDI0eHuye-_lrIttyy7uGzkG24/s1600/CIMG0172.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitaZnD_PBClRErWy9IguNtmD66NQPRANDEMXMvjub-iVUDcUchfchAOCOPHAV_J-iJ0nKp5IpJu5_K2SMW13wDqFyTI0KWXSOm6c1Y9o47VEglaW5ukdDI0eHuye-_lrIttyy7uGzkG24/s320/CIMG0172.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
This has been an intense year for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A year of change and growth. A year of
new discoveries.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve learned
things about myself that I didn’t imagine I could know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And most of all, I’ve learned that fear
often prevents us from doing things that are actually not as difficult as the
fear leads us to believe.
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We live in a constant state of change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our thoughts, emotions, sensations, and
motivations are constantly shifting. We imagine that we can keep things the
same, but this is an illusion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Change is a constant. We grow older with each minute, we get hungry, we
are happy, we become sad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is
the nature of life in a human body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The idea that we should always be happy, or always content or always
productive – all these are belief systems that are contrary to the ways things
actually are.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The book Who Moved My Cheese (also available on audio) is a
great story/parable by Dr. Spencer Johnson that talks about how we deal with
change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s worth a listen/read
if you don’t know it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the
lessons from the story is:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“If you
do not change, you can become extinct.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Another great one is:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“The
quicker you let go of the old cheese, the sooner you can enjoy the new cheese.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So if we accept that change is a constant, we have some
choices to make in terms of how we relate to change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve learned a lot from my kids on this subject.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Left to their own instincts, little
kids view the world with curiosity and with awe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every change is fascinating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve watched young children when faced with a new experience
first pause, or even startle – perhaps a quick move away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even when there is some fear or
hesitation, almost immediately they also become curious and try to move closer
to investigate. They haven’t yet learned to rush to judgment first – they are
still fascinated by each new thing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What if we adults could have that same childlike curiosity and
wonder about our own changes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
fact I think that’s what’s gotten me through this year with some measure of
peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m learning to be curious
about my life experiences rather than judgmental.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not always simple or easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact sometimes it’s downright hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But even the difficult times can be
observed as interesting – even fascinating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when you’re fascinated by what’s happening, change
becomes a collaborative process – an adventure even, rather than something
that’s imposed or unwelcome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
question becomes not, “How can I stop this change from happening to me?” but
“How can I be with this change so that I grow from the process?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the process, a healthy dose of self-compassion and humor
also helps! So “Savor the adventure and enjoy the taste of new cheese!”</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-21756630635054957612012-10-22T23:31:00.004-05:002015-09-27T00:45:32.545-05:00Breathing to Live<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIlzfgquJpRWVmBi2vUYO6Py6741daTmR44CEXds44qNnGUiYB_EbzgSGdJcT418hsNjaHOugl2Rek6Bcu42P0GGZeGcHLgTx8BsLFrslk6FMpNOt9PCBd0NA9JCmntIX6PmGGH-JQV_Y/s1600/IMG_0307.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIlzfgquJpRWVmBi2vUYO6Py6741daTmR44CEXds44qNnGUiYB_EbzgSGdJcT418hsNjaHOugl2Rek6Bcu42P0GGZeGcHLgTx8BsLFrslk6FMpNOt9PCBd0NA9JCmntIX6PmGGH-JQV_Y/s320/IMG_0307.jpg" width="177" /></a>Hope that you are well and enjoying this moment of Life!<br />
<br />
I've been fascinated with the breath lately. It's pretty amazing that the thing we need most to survive (air) is abundant and free! We walk around in it! Your breath can have a calming effect on your nervous system, and yet constrictive breathing patterns can be agitating to the mind. That's one of the reasons yoga is so focused on breath. Free your breath and you free your spirit!<br />
<br />
Our bodies are such fascinating instruments, and so wonderfully interconnected. Amazing, really. Did you know that tension in your jaw can affect the health of your pelvis? And that chronic tension in your shoulders can be an indication of constrictive breathing habits?<br />
<br />
I do breath awareness work in my Yoga for Pelvic Health classes and with many of my psychotherapy clients, simply because the breath influences so much about the body and mind.
Read on below for more tips about breathing. And don't worry! If you're alive and reading this, then there's a good change your body is breathing well enough right now! And with compassionate curiosity you can develop awareness of how you could free your breath even more!<br />
<br />
<b>Quick Facts about Breath and Breathing </b><br />
<br />
I've become really fascinated by the breath and the mechanisms of breathing lately, and I'm especially interested in the ways that the breath affects our nervous systems, and therefore our state of anxiety or relaxation.
Here are some facts that might surprise you, or might be enlightening!<br />
<ul>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg62FMb7gYP0aGlacZkvyoIuRsb1efDALxxOW8W_RIrX9amS8Hl2z08su17o5nJQejyfz9FTqw5ABM1KqlWTTOQdsQhSGIWsl4zxNwIdrqTVgIllN81XanFoGU-k_fsacS5A3s-Uq6ILl4/s1600/IMG_0840.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg62FMb7gYP0aGlacZkvyoIuRsb1efDALxxOW8W_RIrX9amS8Hl2z08su17o5nJQejyfz9FTqw5ABM1KqlWTTOQdsQhSGIWsl4zxNwIdrqTVgIllN81XanFoGU-k_fsacS5A3s-Uq6ILl4/s320/IMG_0840.jpg" width="240" /></a>
<li>When you're relaxed your breath is usually slower & deeper, but not forced or strained </li>
<li>When you're agitated or afraid, your breath is faster and usually higher in your chest </li>
<li>Your breath should change depending on the context - if you're running, you need to be breathing faster and deeper than if you're sitting and reading this email </li>
<li>More oxygen is not necessarily a good thing. You need a balance of oxygen to carbon dioxide in order for your body to function well (yes, you need carbon dioxide!)
Too much oxygen can be as problematic as not enough, and breathing too hard or too fast all the time can alter your balance of oxygen to carbon dioxide actually causing anxiety & other problematic symptoms </li>
<li>Your lungs span the area from just below your collar bones to your lower ribs (there are no lungs in your belly/abdomen). </li>
<li>Think of breathing in through your nose and down into your lower ribs</li>
<li>The belly moves out as a result of the downward movement of your diaphragm - a muscle that connects to your lower ribs & spine - when you inhale. Forcing the belly out isn't a good idea and doesn't help you breathe better. </li>
<li>Your lower ribs should move when you breathe. When you're exerting
yourself, your upper chest should also move to allow more space for your
lungs to fill. Your shoulder muscles generally shouldn't be used for
breathing </li>
<li>Allowing ribs and belly to move when you breathe provides for a freer breath and a more balanced & content nervous system. </li>
<li>Tucking your pelvis under (squeezing buttocks in) and holding your
belly in wreaks havoc with your breathing and isn't good for your spine
(or your pelvis). Whether sitting or standing, the pelvis should
optimally be in a neutral position with a curve at your lower (lumbar)
spine </li>
<li>A "deep" breath doesn't mean forcing the breath into your belly or taking a big, loud breath. It's best for the breath to move quietly, freely & deeply into the body at a relatively relaxed rate - depending, of course, on what your body is doing. </li>
<li>The average number of breaths per minute is 15-20 for adults. </li>
</ul>
Any of this sound new or contrary to what you learned in yoga class? It's been an education for me to study the breath more deeply too & I've had to relearn some things! It's also been wonderful to observe how psychotherapy clients and yoga students have benefited from learning more about how their breath works.<br />
<br />
Please feel free to leave a comment to this post and let me know what you think...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-79699377220569657472012-01-02T20:56:00.000-06:002015-09-27T00:49:37.910-05:00New possibilities for compassionate transformation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFzXsqpClbbbnl5O5VQ0lancvWK7wDyzFgUjpI7K6lX_OIxeH5sYYQVjvXQtuv_13uwNeX2DEnseQWZW3W4GbpOCe6U-abwQc0ltYbZVAn3rbotzF_utoApuY2N7Myrv_9ZKuHZJKJnkI/s1600/CIMG0604.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFzXsqpClbbbnl5O5VQ0lancvWK7wDyzFgUjpI7K6lX_OIxeH5sYYQVjvXQtuv_13uwNeX2DEnseQWZW3W4GbpOCe6U-abwQc0ltYbZVAn3rbotzF_utoApuY2N7Myrv_9ZKuHZJKJnkI/s200/CIMG0604.jpg" width="149" /></a></div>
Happy New Year!<br />
<br />
I love this time of year. It
feels so fresh with possibilities. But that’s an illusion, though, right? Every moment of <i>every</i>
day is fresh with possibilities. Yet maybe it’s the collective
agreement
about the specialness of the New Year that provides an extra wave of
optimism
that we can use to feed our own New Year resolutions. I’ve also noticed
a growing wave of cynicism this year. There seems to be an expectation
that
no matter what your resolution is, it won’t take long for it to fade
away. Again, that may be a collective
tendency, but why assume that will be the case for you? We don't have to
be victims of the collective influence.
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we choose to do something different with ourselves, we
almost always move away from a comfort zone and toward
something we have to learn to be comfortable with. New possibilities can trigger the fears that live below the
surface of our minds. Years ago I was talking with my husband about an issue I
had been struggling with for a long time.
“Why can’t I just let this go?” I wondered. He offered (and I accepted!) the possibility that it was
because I had held on to this way of thinking for so long and it had become a
part of me. He suggested that it
was because I didn’t know who I would be without it that I chose to hold on.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes
we hold on to the most uncomfortable aspects of
ourselves because they are familiar.
We are afraid of who we might be without them – afraid of the unknown
and unfamiliar. Fear is a powerful
motivator – you only have to look around at the political and economic
climate
to see evidence of that. Fear sells a lot of products, garners a lot of
votes and keeps the
status quo in place. Even the
prophecy around 2012 is feeding into that collective fear which affects
us all
and yet goes largely unacknowledged. Fear can also warn us of impending
danger, or be an indicator that we're growing out of our comfort zone -
it's all about how we choose to see it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRGAquKH4jt5RM2iAyIcjiOOxG1BDkYxwY62RlduaBg_HbOiqeWCma9UmPiaYMc1mosvwD_uk-dUd_Ta3ky1Ejq73g9ZOgIPHFrROmpesBQxpwd83BzWo6-PD0E0O-cRwm5Jbr0MZ1UrY/s1600/CIMG0617.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRGAquKH4jt5RM2iAyIcjiOOxG1BDkYxwY62RlduaBg_HbOiqeWCma9UmPiaYMc1mosvwD_uk-dUd_Ta3ky1Ejq73g9ZOgIPHFrROmpesBQxpwd83BzWo6-PD0E0O-cRwm5Jbr0MZ1UrY/s200/CIMG0617.jpg" width="200" /></a>I
believe that we each are integral parts of the collective
that is humanity. Goswami Kriyananda writes that we are each
“microcosms of the macrocosm." From this perspective, when one of us
makes a change to our
way of thinking or being in the world, it creates a ripple that affects
the
whole collective. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So
what if we
were to create ripples or even waves of change this year by
acknowledging and
stepping out of the vortex of the collective fear of gloom &
doom through the recognition of our individual fears? I don’t mean
“fighting” or “pushing through” or "ignoring" your fear. Just being
willing to see it with
compassion is itself a revolutionary act of courage.<br />
<br />
Sometimes
just seeing clearly is all it takes to recognize anticipation of the
new versus an actual threat to well-being. Imagine if, as a collective,
humanity could recognize change as a marvelous potentiality versus
impending doom & destruction. In a comment to a post about <a href="http://sourceisyou.blogspot.com/2010/05/after-last-blog-entry-i-had-question.html" target="_blank">Fear as Opportunity</a> that I wrote in 2010, a reader named Christine
offered a wonderful mantra she uses when faced with fear: "I am willing to
dance with you." I think that just about sums it up.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So
how do we cultivate this capacity to view ourselves compassionately? I
offer below a version of the Buddhist Metta
meditation that has helped me to cultivate self-compassion. It has
helped me in the process of acknowledging, and in many cases moving
beyond, the many fears
that held me hostage for years. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Have
I overcome all my fears? Heck no! I don't even know if I will, and
that's actually okay with me. What I do know is that seeing a little
more clearly and a little more compassionately helps me to be curious,
rather than contemptuous about myself and this mysterious, fascinating,
sometimes-seriously-hard-to-deal-with adventure we call Life. <br />
<br />
So here are the 4 phrases that I use for my Metta practice:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
May I be filled with loving-kindness,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
May I be peaceful and at ease,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
May I be free from suffering and self-deception,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
May I be healthy and happy, and free from fear.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The traditional phrases are: May I be safe, May I be happy, May I be healthy, May I live with ease. (I know, a lot <i>less</i> words!) For more information on Metta, Sharon Salzberg, a well-known Buddhist teacher, talks about the <a href="http://www.shambhala.com/html/learn/features/buddhism/basics/lovingkindness.cfm" target="_blank">traditional practice</a>
in which you also offer these phrases for others. Personally, I like
to do "drive-by Metta" silently for strangers I pass on the street, for
the patients in passing ambulances and even for politicians &
acerbic TV talk-show hosts! It provides me a small way to transform a
wave of apprehension, anxiety or fear into an act of possibility.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Namaste, and may 2012 bring you peace, curiosity, compassionate self-awareness and ease of well-being!!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-85393194006959938842011-12-23T12:55:00.003-06:002015-09-27T00:52:33.480-05:00We already have Peace on Earth<style>
@font-face {
font-family: "Times New Roman";
}p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }table.MsoNormalTable { font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }
</style>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggXKtW0ZipW8LW8lCEIQ-gwg9L3NNQG_ngATcCHlgJZWFiOsL3zhCOQzhj-vXYkSRUCcquidabK55pNooaeDyfayB410zoScWEyzoJnABcdcca8JLlur8A2XKmHq200Rqelqw6HmWE-p8/s1600/edg13880.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggXKtW0ZipW8LW8lCEIQ-gwg9L3NNQG_ngATcCHlgJZWFiOsL3zhCOQzhj-vXYkSRUCcquidabK55pNooaeDyfayB410zoScWEyzoJnABcdcca8JLlur8A2XKmHq200Rqelqw6HmWE-p8/s200/edg13880.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my yoga classes and with therapy clients and meditation
students, I often lead a mindfulness exercise where we notice discomfort or
tension in the body and then also notice where there is ease, relaxation or
comfort. It usually comes as a
surprise that both tension and ease can exist in the body at the same time –
what you experience is determined by where you place your focus. This works the same with emotions – we
can have multiple seemingly opposite and often conflicting emotions happening
at the same time. What you
experience is determined by where you choose to focus. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This all might come as news to some of us. Yes, we have multiple emotions and
sensory experiences happening at once, but we usually only focus on one – and
usually it’s the more challenging or unpleasant one. The idea that I could change my experience based on what I
focus on actually irritated me when I first heard it because it seemed to be
saying that I should ignore the feelings I was having. Actually, rather than ignoring what
you’re feeling, the ability to notice what else you’re feeling can open up a
wider range of experiences and possibilities. The more we notice, the more the experience expands. For example, noticing that there is also comfort or ease in the body
often has the effect of alleviating some of the tension!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I led this exercise for a group yesterday, and then this
morning in my meditation I had a thought:
Maybe what we need to do is not keep working for Peace on Earth as some
future ideal that seems only vaguely possible. Maybe what we actually need to do is to open to the Peace
that is actually already on Earth.
Noticing the softness of your breath, the gentleness of the wind, the
smile and coos of a baby, the stillness or soft movement of the lake, the softness of a loved-one’s embrace, the gentle
falling of the snow or grass swaying in the breeze, the moments of quiet. Accessing the feeling of peace in your
body – the felt experience of peace – you can perhaps also begin to experience
this even in the midst of chaos.
You can begin to notice the peace of the Earth underneath us and the
peace in the air all around us – even when there is also anxiety and hurry and
fear. The more we can notice the Peace that is already here, the more it can expand.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This holiday season, may you experience the Peace that is
already here on Earth.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Namste!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-9772750440996169052011-10-25T01:05:00.000-05:002015-09-27T00:57:02.619-05:00Women's Pelvic Health: If it's in your body, it's not "all in your head"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5RdyMUJibYIZ7FOZA9j8GKPwwF5uSIPRi4vbAPC4c32y2nt8Ndzr3AXO1nwDHg1DkUIOnwdFl68G90B7TQtX2OTqtG1X705fyUWihOJi1iIdKWEQo6AY9BqNrpXJuoEaJRJ5Fl68bidk/s1600/CIMG0259.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5RdyMUJibYIZ7FOZA9j8GKPwwF5uSIPRi4vbAPC4c32y2nt8Ndzr3AXO1nwDHg1DkUIOnwdFl68G90B7TQtX2OTqtG1X705fyUWihOJi1iIdKWEQo6AY9BqNrpXJuoEaJRJ5Fl68bidk/s200/CIMG0259.jpg" width="149" /></a></div>
Warning: This post contains discussions of “girl stuff.” You’ve been warned! <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was teaching a Yoga for Women’s Pelvic Health workshop this weekend and that always gets me on my soap-box. One of the things pelvic health educators encourage women to do is talk to each other about their pelvic health issues. So now I’m bringing the soap box to this blog! Self-disclosure is always a little risky, but I think it's worth it if I can help just one person to realize she's not alone. There's so much suffering we deal with silently & alone as women that doesn't need to be.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with a pelvic pain disorder. I got lucky because my nurse practitioner at the time was up to date on her female pelvic health and diagnosed me right away. That was as far as it went, however, because there was no known cause, no treatment, no cure. I say that I got lucky because many women with pelvic disorders spend a lot of time going from doctor to doctor being told “It’s all in your head” as if mental/emotional issues that may in fact be affecting their physiology aren’t “real.” The fallout of that attitude is that sometimes these issues, which <i>can</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> be contributing factors in pelvic pain, are rejected in favor of finding a “valid” physiological cause. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The ancient yogis knew that the mind and body aren’t separate. It’s not likely that you’ve taken your body anywhere recently and left your mind behind. (Okay, I know some people will try to argue that point!). It’s often stated in body-centered psychotherapy circles that “every thought has a corresponding sensation.” I was one of the speakers at a recent seminar on Pelvic & Abdominal Health and Trauma sponsored by Rush University Medical Center’s Program for Abdominal and Pelvic Health. It was thrilling to hear physicians acknowledge the ways traumatic life experiences can affect the body and advocate for a multi-modal approach to pelvic healthcare that includes addressing psychological factors. Times are a-changin’!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From the yogic perspective, the first chakra at the base of the pelvis develops during the 1<sup>st</sup> year of life, and affects our sense of safety and our ability to really be present in the world. The second chakra at the pubic bone develops between 6 -18months and affects creativity and sexuality. The 3<sup>rd</sup> chakra at the solar plexus develops between 18 months and 4 years and affects our self-esteem & sense of our own power. In a culture where women are objectified, sexualized, shamed and encouraged to be less than we are, is it surprising that we might experience dysfunction in these areas? According to oneinfour.com, 1 in 4 college women report experiencing some kind of sexual assault since age 14. So that number doesn’t includes girls assaulted/abused <i>before</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> age 14. According to webmd, “Doctors don't really understand all the things that can cause chronic pelvic pain. So sometimes, even with a lot of testing, the cause remains a mystery.” Hmmm. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Many women are hypertonic in the pelvic floor – muscles gripping too tightly. I call it “holding on for dear life.” This could happen as the result of sexual trauma but not necessarily so. Bodies develop habits because they seem to work. Tightening the pelvic floor may give a sense of control or safety that works for the short term but becomes problematic over the long term. Some women are hypotonic – not enough strength in the muscles at the base of the body. Usually there is a lack of awareness and either state represents a weak base of support. Strengthening, stretching & relaxing the muscles of the pelvis (including the “core” transversus abdominis muscles and the pelvic floor muscles) can have a definite impact on one’s ability to feel grounded, optimistic, creative and confident. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s a fabulous book called The V Book that is subtitled “Your private parts shouldn’t be private to you.” We could take some of the mystery out of our own pelvic health as women just by becoming more aware. There's another great book called "The Female Pelvis" that gives lots of exercises for developing awareness. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Overcoming vulvodynia and dealing with issues during pregnancy & delivery through mindfulness, yoga and physical therapy helped me realize that I’m one of those hypertonic folks. Somewhere in life my body figured out that when the going gets tough it’s time to hold on for dear life. Now that I’m aware of the habit, I can consciously relax muscles that shouldn’t be chronically tense. Is that “all in my head?” Um… No. It’s definitely in my body too. Mind/body connection? I’d say so. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For more information on women’s pelvic health check out: <a href="http://womenshealthfoundation.org/">Women’s Health Foundation</a>, <a href="http://www.rush.edu/paph">Rush University Program for Abdominal and Pelvic Health</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For more information on yoga for pelvic health check out: <a href="http://www.lesliehowardyoga.com/">Leslie Howard</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For female-centered affordable gynecological & mental health care check out: <a href="http://www.chicagowomenshealthcenter.org/">Chicago Women's Health Center</a> </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-60268350575187700942011-10-21T00:37:00.000-05:002015-09-27T01:00:25.454-05:00Pain happens<table border="0" cellpadding="10" cellspacing="0" class=" cke_show_border"><tbody>
<tr></tr>
<tr><td style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); border-right: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204);" valign="top" width="72%"><div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCbmYBfuoMxOVxe5yItJGfoaKj0MZa7og_9O8ZqbuYKvRTnzjJTuvO2bRfWpKu6KQJb_oMd8US_so8Q7Js_Jaa5gi2EtHAKee2rxUOdgDBE9TZrRORI58OVWgk_MDWl1y8b7AfrIx7oIs/s1600/CIMG0642.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCbmYBfuoMxOVxe5yItJGfoaKj0MZa7og_9O8ZqbuYKvRTnzjJTuvO2bRfWpKu6KQJb_oMd8US_so8Q7Js_Jaa5gi2EtHAKee2rxUOdgDBE9TZrRORI58OVWgk_MDWl1y8b7AfrIx7oIs/s200/CIMG0642.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span id="goog_1935363446"></span><span id="goog_1935363447"></span>Hello again! Long time no post. There have been lots of changes happening for me recently, and for many people this is a time of change and transition. Just since this summer 4 people I know have moved out of Chicago with their families. A quick glance at the news will reveal that this is indeed a transformative time for humanity as a whole.<br />
<br />
Change can be exciting and it can be challenging. In fact any process of transformation can involve both of those states - and sometimes both at once!<br />
<br />
As humans we are often surprised when change happens, and when it is difficult. There is a mistaken notion that if we shouldn't have to feel pain or discomfort supported by advertising and the media. Yet by virtue of being human, pain (in all its varying degrees) is an inevitable part of our experience. Sometimes the pain is emotional and sometimes it is physical. Either type becomes suffering through our reaction to it. When we resist, deny or reject difficult experiences, they tend to magnify - the pain insists on being felt. <br />
<br />
One of the biggest sources of pain, I think, is this idea that what we are experiencing "should not be." We use a lot of energy resisting what is already here. So, what is the solution? One of my favorite yoga teachers, Roger Eischens used to say "It is what it is." I heard this phrase from him when he was dealing with the brain cancer that eventually caused his death. That simple phrase has saved me a lot of emotional wrangling. When I feel myself getting caught up in the debate of "this shouldn't be happening to me" I hear Roger's voice "It is what it is" and I surrender to the fact of the matter. Marsha Linnehan, who developed Dialectical Behavior Therapy while working with severely suicidal patients describes the concept of "Radical Acceptance" - essentially a letting go of resistance to the truth of what is here.<br />
<br />
A great deal of anxiety and stress can be released through this process of accepting what is. This doesn't imply approval or complacency, but a simple act of acknowledging and letting go of resistance to the moment. I sense this as a physical shift - a visceral "letting go" of inner tension that I usually didn't even realize I was holding. A spontaneous full breath usually follows. Sometimes I have to remind myself to do this multiple times as the tension creeps up again. And sometimes what is here really hurts and I get to feel the hurt without all the added tension created by the thought that the hurt shouldn't be here. This process can take a long time, depending on the situation, and in those times, I try to notice the degrees of pain - acknowledging moments of relief - or moments of "less than" the pain or difficulty that was here before. By being willing to be with what is, I get back into the flow of life and inevitably, the hurt moves through and I come out on the other side. </div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-88385315273640358282011-03-11T13:52:00.001-06:002015-09-27T01:02:59.059-05:00A Spot of SunshineI was driving up McCormick Blvd yesterday afternoon and like so many other days in Chicago it was overcast for the 2<sup>nd</sup> or 3<sup>rd</sup> day in a row. Suddenly there appeared a spot of sunlight over the street, which stayed long enough for us to drive through it. It felt like such a treat – a spot of sunlight on a cloudy day – and if I hadn’t been paying attention, we would have missed it altogether. How often is life like that? When things seem bleak, can we pay attention and take pleasure in those little spots of sunshine? I like to call those little miracles – like not being able to find my keys and then having a sudden intuition or looking in just the right direction to see them in an otherwise hidden spot, or coming to an intersection to make a turn and having someone stop right away to let me in. I try to notice and give thanks for these little blessings and then they begin to add up, giving the impression that my life is full of blessings – and it is – except if I wasn’t paying attention to these “little” things, I probably wouldn’t notice how many there are! I'm convinced that the more you notice the more there are - kindof like positive reinforcement to the Universe :-).<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eventually the sun broke through the clouds and today is a gorgeously sunny day here in Chi. As we celebrate the sun I also send out prayers for those in Japan that their recovery from the devastation will be swift and certain. My heart aches in compassion for their suffering and at the same time I am grateful to be safe, and dry and warm.<br />
<br />
<br />
Namaste!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-31384415636073699302011-03-10T11:34:00.000-06:002015-09-27T18:49:57.143-05:00What do you want?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ7DvqIDv4TRiBP2zeeJPCDASFf5boYgWGH4ZNZrhBDQCd-UmtK94_Ag0GMg8_mE9QM2-2SV08wmQCoWpM1jG-1qO9UG9l6UEgV8qsSYz1ZgmbNz4hyphenhyphenhm0Sqo4lh0KE0eaTMpBFzMIse8/s1600/CIMG0509.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ7DvqIDv4TRiBP2zeeJPCDASFf5boYgWGH4ZNZrhBDQCd-UmtK94_Ag0GMg8_mE9QM2-2SV08wmQCoWpM1jG-1qO9UG9l6UEgV8qsSYz1ZgmbNz4hyphenhyphenhm0Sqo4lh0KE0eaTMpBFzMIse8/s200/CIMG0509.jpg" width="149" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
This year has been the year of fabulous yoga training for me. In January I went to Tucson for the Level I training in Amy Weintraub’s LifeForce Yoga which specializes in yoga for managing anxiety and depression. The workshop was held at a Catholic retreat center high up on a mountain with a fabulous view of Tucson. We saw the sun rise every morning as we chanted the Gayatri mantra and on the last night were blessed with the rising of the full moon in all her luminous glory. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
Even though I’m an island girl, the deserts of the Southwest are magical to me, and in Tucson the desert is dotted with majestic Saguaro cactuses, which at 6ft tall are over 100 years old! Suffice it to say the whole experience was transformative. It was a great opportunity to “get away” and be somewhere else – to slow the pace of life and have an opportunity to be in silence with myself when I wanted, but also to be in joyful communion with others.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG62K41vfVEN_wJ6h4X0S511BwXWczRKbbiTVUb1bYHI46atjAtfyTVSou6JNVoVRVIlDXQQsuoFf9osVwWUI-LxVisD8_jYx-OD_4TRya_Ett3bV_05hyphenhyphenMdr9yHFzbxe3cwkFaobRABw/s1600/CIMG0497.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG62K41vfVEN_wJ6h4X0S511BwXWczRKbbiTVUb1bYHI46atjAtfyTVSou6JNVoVRVIlDXQQsuoFf9osVwWUI-LxVisD8_jYx-OD_4TRya_Ett3bV_05hyphenhyphenMdr9yHFzbxe3cwkFaobRABw/s200/CIMG0497.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
One of the things that Amy taught at the workshop was <i>sankalpa</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. A </span><i>sankalpa</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> is an intention. You can create an intention for your class, for your day, for your stage of life. You come into this life with a </span><i>sankalpa</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> – your life purpose. Your </span><i>sankalpa</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> is essentially what you want to manifest. But most often, when we are asked what we want, we respond by highlighting we don’t want! For example: “I want to not be so stressed,” or “I want to stop being so disorganized.” We tend to focus on what we don’t want, rather than clarifying what it is we want to manifest. In a way, it can be scary to imagine what you do want – what if you don’t believe you deserve it? Or what if the current circumstances of your life don’t seem conducive to your dream manifesting itself? Some of us were taught not to hope for too much, so we don’t end up disappointed. Kriyanandaji, the head of the Temple of Kriya Yoga, often repeats the phrase: </span><i>Aham Brahmasmi</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. He translates this to mean: “I am the creative principle.” In other words, I have the power to create my life. If you have the power to create your life, then why not direct your energies toward what you want, rather than what you don’t want?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
So, what <i>do</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> you want? Amy recommends that you bring your </span><i>sankalpa</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> into the present: “Peace flows through me now.” I’ve spent a lot of my life being tired and focusing on how I don’t want to be tired anymore. So instead I created the sankalpa: “Good health and vitality flow through me now.” Guess what? When I say it I feel better, clearer, more energized, and a smile comes to my face! Of course just stating an intention starts the energy flowing, but you must follow intention with action to manifest your heart’s desire. It is also beneficial to courageously, mindfully and gently excavate the underlying subconscious beliefs that might be sabotaging your best efforts. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUar2MsxxXelt-DbmyeXvUDVln4Y7CRO0OjBZ5uHdxjnZXVhhqXYM5gGhGSyBwfGzbqbADKrZQiQGZJq7aHOddMjwFsK-TnV3P-9NkGorVkiPFps8SAbxUky7u9eJe8cLNgUu1PEgfURw/s1600/CIMG0452.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUar2MsxxXelt-DbmyeXvUDVln4Y7CRO0OjBZ5uHdxjnZXVhhqXYM5gGhGSyBwfGzbqbADKrZQiQGZJq7aHOddMjwFsK-TnV3P-9NkGorVkiPFps8SAbxUky7u9eJe8cLNgUu1PEgfURw/s200/CIMG0452.jpg" width="149" /></a></div>
The second fabulous teaching was last weekend right here in Downer’s Grove. Rod Stryker also taught about <i>sankalpa</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> and he mentioned another term that I wasn’t familiar with until recently: </span><i>vikapla</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. Rod described </span><i>sankalpa</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> as the intention linked to your heart – that which you want, your reason for being – and </span><i>vikalpa</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> as that belief or desire which separates you from your purpose. Whichever one of these is strongest determines your destiny. A lack of fulfillment in life, Rod taught, is based on not living your purpose. And if you’re not living your purpose, it might mean that your </span><i>vikalpa</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> is stronger than your </span><i>sankalpa</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> in terms of your desire for it to manifest.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
I think we all get glimpses of our <i>vikalpa</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. You might feel yourself recoil when presented with a fabulous opportunity and then notice yourself coming up with reasons why it’s not the right thing or why you can’t do it. Or you might start to clarify your sankalpa and find that your mind comes up with all kinds of reasons why it can’t happen. Mindfulness helps us to notice these moments and look at them clearly, examining our deeper motivations, rather than running away. What is manifesting in your life right now? What might be the underlying belief or desire that has brought these circumstances into being? (Rod Stryker has a book about these teachings coming out in a few months. If you read it before I do, let me know what you think…)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPF2A3Du-b8WOpk9ptTPfae8BH5EH9_Wg3Yxtd00m22dAAXwd9Di3Rk97Zn1iWCRTJBturqVO6Y98ubEv3Pd7x92ZTIeSpma8d7tL1ll-7VwR8EyhHIMNoXOREn94Q2efLb8gawFEnwTk/s1600/CIMG0447.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPF2A3Du-b8WOpk9ptTPfae8BH5EH9_Wg3Yxtd00m22dAAXwd9Di3Rk97Zn1iWCRTJBturqVO6Y98ubEv3Pd7x92ZTIeSpma8d7tL1ll-7VwR8EyhHIMNoXOREn94Q2efLb8gawFEnwTk/s200/CIMG0447.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
So in two separate trainings this year already, I’ve been presented with the teaching on <i>sankalpa</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. Maybe its time to really get clear. What </span><i>do</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> I want and do I dare to dream that the desire of my heart could become the life of my dreams? I’ve seen plenty of evidence so far that your entire life can shift based on the strength of your desire. If you had told me 10 years ago that I’d be a yoga instructor, energy worker and therapist I would have laughed. I was a committed database manager with a love of logic, data and computers. I promise you that life can change in a heartbeat. </span><i>Aham brahmasmi</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> – you are the creative principle. The first step to putting that power to work is to get clear on what you want.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
If you embark on this exploration, I’d love to hear about your <i>sankalpa</i><span style="font-style: normal;">!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
Namaste!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-58235580420360693882011-03-04T13:52:00.002-06:002015-09-27T01:16:48.776-05:00Loving SupportI just completed a wonderful 4-week meditation workshop, and in their feedback the participants mentioned how good it was to be able to share the journey into meditation with others who were understanding, kind and supportive. Even in such a short time, (an hour and a half once per week for four weeks), there was a sense of community and shared intention that provided support for all those who were in it. Meditation in many ways is a seeking into oneself, and yet this inner seeking is easier to do with the support of others. <br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEkn2Ym8r3KRp9ud_pDgdzqAC313XyQs-IoOtM1iy3FVFgSUsrJR5gpZ3xV3b9hZl703UlzVegofkftpd0iGVxz6X3RXKGW5KTrBM2Coq4V4EodNBvQuwlWUTkfee-_HKqmQ5OxGrRDjc/s1600/MP900399708.JPG" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEkn2Ym8r3KRp9ud_pDgdzqAC313XyQs-IoOtM1iy3FVFgSUsrJR5gpZ3xV3b9hZl703UlzVegofkftpd0iGVxz6X3RXKGW5KTrBM2Coq4V4EodNBvQuwlWUTkfee-_HKqmQ5OxGrRDjc/s200/MP900399708.JPG" width="159" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about this sense of community and how we connect and separate ourselves from each other. From a yogic point of view, the sense of an individual self is an illusion. “No man is an island” was an old tune I used to hear my parents listen to as a child. “No man is an island, no man stands alone. Each man’s joy is joy to me, each man’s grief is my own. We need one another, so I will defend each man as my brother, each man as my friend.” (Of course as a kid I wondered “what about the women?” but in the interest of the deeper meaning, we’ll let that pass for now!) <br />
<br />
All the world religions teach that we should care for our fellow human. Yet watching the political news over the last few years, it has become so evident that we don’t, as a culture, live by that maxim. In fact, our culture seems to be becoming more and more polarized into “us” and “them” and all based on ideas, thoughts and opinions, and the fear of these being somehow threatened and destroyed. We identify with these opinions and beliefs and therefore when they are threatened, it is perceived as a threat to our very identity.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even as yogis we are not immune from “separation-thinking.” How often do yoga practitioners defend their chosen style of yoga as “better” or “more effective” than another? Whenever we identify with a practice, an idea, or a way of being (what the yogis call <i>ahamkara</i><span style="font-style: normal;">), we run the risk of thinking that we are that. What follows is the assumption that “I am right” from which the logical premise that seems to follow is “they are wrong.” Yet with billions of people on the planet, all with their own collection of interests, constitutional predispositions and life experiences, how is it possible that there could only be one way for us all to be, think or believe? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: normal;"> From a yogic perspective, we are not separate – we are manifestations of the same stuff – awareness, life force, whatever you choose to call it – we are manifestations of the substance of life which is One and yet each of us is a unique expression of that One. Goswami Kriyandanda describes each person as a microcosm of the whole. Just imagine - you are a hologram of the whole Universe!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPGVW6KAzU0R5EnzngOSqaSsE7sZLBz3uRKmiBPO4hkCJmx-sKMHD9A7Fs1AiQHpiIiMrXJcMAz4Ir6y74mDRUsW6XoyuWRwSb4Jk114ob6i_U6B3HuUruSTvIwZwUt1-52XouIsblrfE/s1600/MP900448334.JPG" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPGVW6KAzU0R5EnzngOSqaSsE7sZLBz3uRKmiBPO4hkCJmx-sKMHD9A7Fs1AiQHpiIiMrXJcMAz4Ir6y74mDRUsW6XoyuWRwSb4Jk114ob6i_U6B3HuUruSTvIwZwUt1-52XouIsblrfE/s200/MP900448334.JPG" width="132" /></a> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are all the same stuff – just packaged in a different way, yet we spend so much time, energy and effort feeding the illusion of our separateness – this sense of “I, me and mine” that yogis call <i>asmita</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. The thing about feeding our sense of separation is that it also creates a sense of isolation and brings very little satisfaction. When we build walls to keep ourselves, our opinions and our beliefs protected and safe, those walls also keep others out. Those walls prevent us from hearing other people, from having sympathy and understanding, from recognizing in “others” not only our own brilliance, but also our own shadow. And if we are too afraid or too ashamed to see ourselves clearly, we run the risk of projecting our own disfunction on to others and condemning them for it. On the other hand, if we are able to really see ourselves with compassion, and even with humor, we can begin to free ourselves and to break down the walls that separate us from each other.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember the first time, as a teenager, that I realized that I wasn’t the only one with a particular trait of which I had been ashamed. I had perceived this trait (can't even remember what it was now) as a personal failing and when I found out someone else had it too, it was amazing! I remember the sense of relief and freedom when I realized I was "only human." I could let go of that burden and stop blaming myself for not being perfect. Being in a supportive community provides the opportunity to see yourself in others and be accepted as you are. But you can do that for yourself and for others at any time if you think of all of humanity (and even all sentient beings) as your "community." Meditation is one way practice seeing yourself with gentleness and compassion, accepting yourself as you are – hang-ups, past life history, neurosis, judgments, opinions and all. It all begins with the choice to accept ourselves as we are, with love & a healthy dose of light-heartedness. Then we can create and/or find supportive communities where we can share this loving acceptance with others. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What if we were to just expect loving support from our communities and especially from ourselves? I wonder what would happen then?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
In loving acceptance of you, just as you are...<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Namaste.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-57260039034252373622010-12-31T01:21:00.002-06:002010-12-31T01:31:05.432-06:00Unlimited potentialAre there limits to your perception? How big do you imagine the Universe to be? How far does your energy field go? Where do you end and the space around you begin? <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">My husband and I have an ongoing discussion/debate about the limits of human potential. I don’t think that there are any limits. He thinks there are things humans just weren’t designed to ever be able to do. Maybe I’m just opinionated (an existential hazard of being born with 4+ planets in Aries) but I really believe that as humans we are only limited by our <i>perceptions</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> of what is possible.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCNTpk6tYNd3l5R-p0k6HqVK4GtFYixse61ddIsfek15H5PPrFRs9DGZ3lMT2lu4J1voWOfnNp933DUSXbIDZafZ8dE55kECtnCHWNliPdt59rGMGVQOEDk9LMaLqB_kHKipiF38DMuY0/s1600/haramara+lamps.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCNTpk6tYNd3l5R-p0k6HqVK4GtFYixse61ddIsfek15H5PPrFRs9DGZ3lMT2lu4J1voWOfnNp933DUSXbIDZafZ8dE55kECtnCHWNliPdt59rGMGVQOEDk9LMaLqB_kHKipiF38DMuY0/s200/haramara+lamps.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal">Think of all the inventions of the last century. I was explaining to my 5-year-old daughter tonight that my grandmother Mary, born in 1900, didn’t have television as a child - and read books by lamp light. And when I was my daughter's age, TV (in Jamaica) was in black and white! She could hardly imagine such a horror! Technology has shifted what we believe to be possible. And I would argue that our belief in what is possible has accelerated the phenomenal technological and consciousness shifts of the last century. Because of technology my dad survived a heart attack 8 years ago that would certainly have killed him 50 years ago. Because of technology we also know immediately when tragedy has occurred anywhere in the world and we can rush to help relieve suffering. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As technology has supported our belief in what is possible we have dared to dream bigger dreams. And because we are human these dreams of course have been fueled not just by our altruism and generosity, but also by our fear and our greed. And so even as some people dream big dreams, others are afraid that these dreams will destroy us. We live in fragile human bodies – the identification with which leads us to be afraid of death. This fear of death, the yogis say, is one of the things that binds us to suffering. (It also keeps the majority of us from jumping in front of moving trucks!) This fear of death (or of annihilation – or non-being) also seems to underlie much of our resistance to life – what I would describe as contraction.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5AQyP_Tql84sWkWPPWkZhJyCP2DmDe98HOzH9xd1g3AwIWFfVSecC-vOFio-5O8yZ7tKhj6mR35OkXvqbdQXhB7uOga9jDXLmsL8IhiV0BLr79pgcCqQ-emZvQAGmJBbKJQQgcr-SGag/s1600/0097.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5AQyP_Tql84sWkWPPWkZhJyCP2DmDe98HOzH9xd1g3AwIWFfVSecC-vOFio-5O8yZ7tKhj6mR35OkXvqbdQXhB7uOga9jDXLmsL8IhiV0BLr79pgcCqQ-emZvQAGmJBbKJQQgcr-SGag/s200/0097.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal">One of my first experiences with <a href="http://www.francinekelley.com/rh.html">Reconnective Healing</a> was through a process called <a href="http://www.francinekelley.com/thereconnection.html">The Reconnection</a>. This axiatonal realignment process is designed to reconnect us with our true potential. During this 2-day process I had the realization that I was participating in something much larger than myself that was happening all across the planet and directly impacting human evolution. It was amazing to me – mind-opening in fact. It was so amazing that it scared me silly. I felt that I was on the edge of a precipice – that I had been brought to the edge of the Void and my next step was to jump in - to something I didn’t and would never fully understand – at least not with my mind. In the Reconnective Healing training I asked Eric Pearl about it and he said “Isn’t it exciting?!” Exciting? Heck no! It was terrifying!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In the years since my Reconnection I’ve come to some realizations that my mind still has some trouble wrapping its mind around. I've come to accept that the Void is everything. There wasn’t anywhere for me to jump because I was already here. What was missing was my perception. The Void is awareness and awareness is all that we are. Some of us have amazing experiences of it, others more subtle realizations. But whether we are aware of awareness or not, it is the 'substance' of which we are made. Each of us is all that is – “the world in a grain of sand.” This is why I believe in the immense potential of humankind – if we choose to embrace it. It’s not an imperative in my mind – it won’t make us better humans than we are now – but I think it would be really, really fun! I also think our expansion into this understanding is happening whether we like it or not. We can be immensely joyful and compassionate, or we can be immensely selfish and greedy. Through it all we are being – whichever choices we make, wherever we go, whatever we do. We <i>are</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> the Void – nothing and everything. Immense, unlimited potential. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In this Universe, as we experience it, is the potential for contraction or expansion. So as we approach the dawn of a new year, the question arises – how expansive can you allow your perception to be? As you imagine the vastness of our human potential, does contraction eventually kick in? What form does it take? Is it fear, is it a belief system or an adopted “truth?” Is it a sense of how things can’t be or should be? Is it sadness for the way things are? So, what if you could open to let even your contraction be expansive? In other words, what if you could just allow it to be okay to have all those thoughts and welcome them into this sense of expansion or possibility? Then how much could you allow your heart or your joy to expand? And in the midst of all of this, how much could you love yourself, just as you are – contraction, expansion, resistance and all?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">To quote <a href="http://www.online-literature.com/poe/612/">Blake</a> (don’t be impressed, this was my first time actually reading the poem! These lines actually stopped my breath for a second): </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 1.5in;">To see a world in a grain of sand<br />
And a heaven in a wild flower,<br />
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand<br />
And eternity in an hour.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">You are the world in a grain of sand - all the Universes in one human body. What could be impossible?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Have a blessed, expansive, loving, joyful, perfect-as-you-are New Year!! <br />
<br />
See you on the other side…</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-86756219763865251952010-12-13T22:29:00.001-06:002015-09-27T01:12:12.592-05:00Like falling snow...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNsaDsnQWERoYH8Rmjyhk5JcFWlAu7LpJbXTaDfWYs6csrmVqALdsHgGfLrJya7eBav80WFTGLQbccLlezDwOyI6VoW5ISR6tomS-CwPJngd_sEPTFcwDzvNWuvriZV-zCB2AgjVKjDsc/s1600/happy_penguin.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNsaDsnQWERoYH8Rmjyhk5JcFWlAu7LpJbXTaDfWYs6csrmVqALdsHgGfLrJya7eBav80WFTGLQbccLlezDwOyI6VoW5ISR6tomS-CwPJngd_sEPTFcwDzvNWuvriZV-zCB2AgjVKjDsc/s320/happy_penguin.JPG" width="212" /></a></div>
I was watching the snow falling last week and was struck by its silence and gentleness. I remembered having the same impression watching a snow storm in New York in 1996 that practically shut the city down. Last week I was struck again by how this gently falling snow, so silent and light, could have such huge effects and how force is often not necessary to make a big change. In fact, as humans we often use much more force than is necessary, since we’ve come to believe that strenuous effort, even struggle, is necessary to get results. <br />
<br />
As I watched the snow last week, I also recognized the effect of the falling snow on my body and my psyche. There is a spacious, expansive quality to falling snow – the snowflakes suspended in the air as they gently float to the ground. There is freedom in their surrender, and as I watched I could feel expansiveness, silence, and a sense of surrender. Something inside me settled and I felt lighter and more at ease. <br />
<br />
Nature reflects the qualities that also exist in us – since we are Nature as well. As Nature hibernates and moves into low gear, might we also be encouraged to find time for stillness and quiet? Like the quality of the falling snow, perhaps we might take time to check in and acknowledge the spaciousness, expansiveness, silence and surrender that live within our own minds and bodies. <br />
<br />
I’ve been listening to some wonderful guided meditations by Jeddah Mali. In one of these she invites us to notice the lightness that is here now. Thinking of the snow automatically (for me) brings that sense of lightness. Noticing the movement of my breath also helps me feel that lightness & expansiveness as physical sensation. <br />
<br />
Sometimes when you’re struggling with day-to-day living, it is hard to imagine that there could be any relief because you’re focused on the struggle. But right here in your breath and in your body is the possibility of relief. It only takes a momentary shift of focus.<br />
<br />
Notice how you feel now, notice body, breath and mind. What image brings a sense of lightness, expansiveness or ease for you? Perhaps something from Nature? Pick any image that resonates with you and notice how your body and breath might change as you hold that image in your mind. As you go about your day-to-day activities, you might want to check in with this feeling again and again.<br />
<br />
May you experience lightness and ease of wellbeing this holiday season.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-12751686181610403602010-12-09T15:44:00.000-06:002015-09-27T18:08:30.774-05:00The peace that is always here...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy8YfddorEPQBFnB7lQ0f4Hl1A4WqFA8EgdHofuRDCbq1skewP1cxihOjxGggaTeuhvUG9FEj-DYPO_SkWXcDJNpHImqe_iosd71GzsP95xrGNQ6usiwXv8uCna6SQ56dJjmb76lVlHb8/s1600/lake+placid+chairs+carla.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy8YfddorEPQBFnB7lQ0f4Hl1A4WqFA8EgdHofuRDCbq1skewP1cxihOjxGggaTeuhvUG9FEj-DYPO_SkWXcDJNpHImqe_iosd71GzsP95xrGNQ6usiwXv8uCna6SQ56dJjmb76lVlHb8/s200/lake+placid+chairs+carla.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
So the holidays are here and maybe the stress is starting to settle in a little deeper. For me there is the hustle and bustle of the gift-buying and preparations and the general collective stress that sets in, there is the excitement and anticipation of the kids hoping for wonderful presents, the holiday lights and the darkness of winter and Nature’s stillness that underlies all of this activity. All this is available right now in this minute – all at the same time. So, since I get to choose where I place my focus, I choose to place it on the peace – the stillness and silence - and sometimes I’ll chose to focus on the excitement and anticipation. <br />
<br />
Even though I’ve had a sense of this underlying peacefulness, to focus on it is a big departure for me this year. Usually I just get stressed worrying about travel plans, what to get for whom, whether the receivers of gifts would like their gifts, and on and on. This year, everybody gets tie-dye (my kids’ idea) and the kids and I are excited to get started on this make-at-home project. They’re already picking out which designs for whom and which colors. It’s fun. Hopefully people will appreciate their gifts, and the love with which they were made and offered. But none of us can control what others think or feel. All we can really control is that we do our best to love, we place our focus on what nurtures us and those around us, and we give ourselves a break, every so often, to check in with the peace that is always here.<br />
<br />
Not sure how to check in? Try this: Notice that you have a body, and that your body is breathing. Begin to follow the flow of your breath. Notice that each time you inhale and exhale, the breath comes from stillness and goes back to stillness. You may also feel that it arises from silence and goes back to silence. Just notice the rising and falling of the breath, from stillness and back to stillness, from silence and back to silence. Now instead of focusing on the breath, focus on the stillness, or the silence. You might begin to feel that it is always there, and that your body begins to feel more peaceful as you focus your attention on the stillness or the silence – the peace that is always here. Doesn’t take long to check in, but it feels pretty good, and you can even do it in line at the mall!<br />
<br />
Happy holidays!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-15666845578897026332010-11-20T23:50:00.000-06:002015-09-27T18:11:45.906-05:00Taking Responsibility...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglCmpZiCnVnL7YkpPxmkVCBl4VdzmheCF6LqSFiexi-GwDsyZ-1N61GyBicpVAPrL6a8wnR_Z2invkXU-F-dxwb2xjrfnHJ2385ZlDp3vA2rtVjyIulQ59vAVxelyKpGGgxIPt9crVC5s/s1600/buddha+outside.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglCmpZiCnVnL7YkpPxmkVCBl4VdzmheCF6LqSFiexi-GwDsyZ-1N61GyBicpVAPrL6a8wnR_Z2invkXU-F-dxwb2xjrfnHJ2385ZlDp3vA2rtVjyIulQ59vAVxelyKpGGgxIPt9crVC5s/s320/buddha+outside.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
One of the teachings of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Course-Miracles-Dr-Helen-Schucman/dp/1883360250?ie=UTF8&tag=teenieyogini-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">A Course In Miracles</a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=teenieyogini-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1883360250" height="1" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; padding: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> is that, like a hologram, our external world is the reflection of our inner world. Said another way: the challenges you face in your external world are essentially the externalization of your inner world. This outer experience gives us the opportunity to take responsibility for our world. It gives us a mirror with which to look at ourselves more deeply and begin to welcome and work with the parts of ourselves that we have hidden from the world and even from ourselves.<br />
<br />
So, as an example, there is someone at work who is so arrogant that you can’t even stand to be around them. Yet it seems you can’t avoid them no matter how hard you try. This is an opportunity for you to look inside to see whether there is some arrogance or intolerance in you that you’re not admitting to. This is an opportunity to take that out, look at it, stop resisting or hiding it and maybe even come to terms with it or let it go. But this will only happen when you stop blaming the other person, and take responsibility for your own part in the creation of your world.<br />
<br />
It is easy to blame our behavior as a reaction to other people, “society,” the economy, or even as caused by Satan. It is not so easy to look at the parts of ourselves we most despise. The truth is that until we look at those parts, they will keep visiting us through other people, and we will continue to be revolted or angered by them. When we take responsibility for what is being triggered in us we have an opportunity to stop being victims and actually make a change - since it is really only possible for any of us to change ourselves.<br />
<br />
Of course, it might be difficult to see the seemingly ugly parts of ourselves, and this is where it is helpful to proceed with patience and gentleness. Cultivating loving-kindness towards ourselves helps us to see ourselves honestly. The Metta practice is one way of cultivating gentleness and kindness towards ourselves and others.<br />
<br />
The Metta practice uses 4 phrases.: May ___ be free from suffering; May ____ be healthy; May ____ be happy; May ____ live with ease. You start off repeating these phrases for yourself (May I be free from suffering… etc.), then you do them for a loved one, then for a friend, then for a neutral person or a stranger and then for a difficult person. In this way we begin to soften towards the difficult people in our lives and also toward ourselves. We do not say these phrases with artificially contrived emotion, we just offer them as they are – no strings attached. <br />
<br />
As we soften towards ourselves we do not need to run away. As we soften towards others we can see that they are us, and we can begin to take responsibility for our own part in this play we call Life.<br />
<br />
May you be free from suffering. May you be healthy. May you be happy. May you live with ease.<br />
<br />
Namaste.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-7556903000400445072010-10-25T12:34:00.001-05:002015-09-27T18:18:11.993-05:00Making friends with yourself<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikHKil4w9sgdLRjwCHJH_oEdf4okBwD-NXlgb4G10AM9jRT26VpXm7fuXtDltaGgW2RXzXH4lG_KFQu35Qsh8_y_SuLmFuqsx17CAkrOfiTCPaSwdvEmY9hkP7RInBYcof3zXlkpizp6k/s1600/CIMG0092.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikHKil4w9sgdLRjwCHJH_oEdf4okBwD-NXlgb4G10AM9jRT26VpXm7fuXtDltaGgW2RXzXH4lG_KFQu35Qsh8_y_SuLmFuqsx17CAkrOfiTCPaSwdvEmY9hkP7RInBYcof3zXlkpizp6k/s200/CIMG0092.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
What would you do if a friend confessed to you that she felt really badly about something she had recently done, or really didn’t like something about herself? You would probably feel some compassion for your friend and try to think of something to say to help her feel better, right? And yet what do you do to yourself when you feel badly about something you’ve done? What thoughts come about when you think of the things about yourself that you don’t like? For most of us those thoughts aren’t about being compassionate! <br />
<br />
It’s not a secret that we tend to treat others better than we treat ourselves, often to the point where we can offer compassion to others, but have difficulty offering it to ourselves, or even receiving it from others. How much we are able to love ourselves, I think, is directly related to how much we can allow others to love us. If we beat up on ourselves, on some level we begin to think of ourselves as inherently flawed and unlovable. This breeds suspicion and disbelief when others see us differently. We might even back away from people or relationships because we aren’t used to allowing the light of love and compassion into our hearts. To be loved or lovable is unfamiliar.<br />
<br />
A few months ago I told someone that I felt I had made friends with my mind. The person responded first with surprise and then with disappointment. “I wish I could do that,” she said. In our culture we tend to think it unlikely that this could ever be possible. Instead we believe that we need to control, cover up, pretend, medicate and distract. And yet, it is possible. In Buddhism, this acceptance of self is called ‘maitri.’ Pema Chodron, a wonderful Buddhist teacher describes maitri on this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7s-rRMUl04I">youtube video</a> as “unconditional friendliness toward oneself.” She describes maitri as “the basis of compassion.” <br />
<br />
Think of it, what if you were able to just think of yourself as being okay? What would your life be like if you were able to cut yourself some slack and just love yourself as you are without trying to be more perfect, more knowledgeable, more attractive… How much stress do we put on ourselves trying to be more or ‘better’ because we are so dissatisfied, so averse to what we are now? And yet, have we even looked to see what is actually here or is it just an assumption that what we are couldn’t possibly be enough?<br />
<br />
So, how to go about cultivating this self-compassion? I think the first step is really to welcome the possibility that you could be unconditionally friendly towards yourself, that you could be worthy of loving. From there, I’ve found that the universe is only too happy to lead you into more and more lessons and revelations. Sometimes the lessons are easy and sometimes not. It is not that life suddenly becomes a bed of roses, but that you begin to see the difficulties as more ways of deepening in relationship with yourself and with others. Any relationship takes effort and most relationships work better if the focus is on the other person's positive qualities vs. judging their flaws.<br />
<br />
In my experience, a simple way to begin to cultivate self-compassion is to spend some time acknowledging the aspects of yourself that you actually do appreciate. Since we have such a tendency to judge things as good or bad, let me be clear that the other aspects aren’t bad per se. It is just easier at first to love ourselves based on those things we perceive as ‘positive’ qualities. It might take some time (it took me days the first time I tried to come up with one thing), but just finding one thing you appreciate about yourself is like clearing a little hole on the grimy window of our past perception so that the light can begin to shine through. <br />
<br />
Make a phrase with your one ‘positive’ quality (or more if you have more than one). For me it was “I am compassionate.” Notice how your body feels when you say this phrase. And when you find your mind going into the place of self-judgment or self-criticism, let this phrase be your ray of light. Once that tiny ray of light is experienced, the shadows become less dense and the darkness begins to give way. Repeat your phrase whenever you think of it. Eventually you might find it pops up on its own! <br />
<br />
In the next few blog entries I’ll be offering more tools that have helped me to bring light into my shadows. If you have other tips, comments or experiences to offer, please feel free to share those as well by clicking on the Comments link below.<br />
<br />
Until next time, may you live with ease ☺Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-52491202752189725572010-10-15T13:19:00.000-05:002015-09-27T18:35:06.337-05:00Is there such a thing as "negative energy?"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnfLYJxOzFft7glWx3VtsZslDjUAR5Prv7p8IWNF0HmzLgmGscQ6T74JcmSSkTLI0Nu3xnVTFRwBUzvwHIB3ed6aYoIRdwIpMJQOxcdmxxW88S7p-mzoUPPzaW6WONDEYtsYPTA8uFQgM/s1600/CIMG0140.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnfLYJxOzFft7glWx3VtsZslDjUAR5Prv7p8IWNF0HmzLgmGscQ6T74JcmSSkTLI0Nu3xnVTFRwBUzvwHIB3ed6aYoIRdwIpMJQOxcdmxxW88S7p-mzoUPPzaW6WONDEYtsYPTA8uFQgM/s200/CIMG0140.jpg" width="149" /></a></div>
Realizing this topic can rub people the wrong way, I offer the disclaimer that this post, like any other I might write is simply meant to cast a few ripples and see where they settle. I’m not preaching or saying it is definitely so, just offering my ponderings on the subject and hoping to clarify as I learn from others.<br />
<br />
That said, years ago I attended a lovely talk at Unity in Chicago with Katerina Pellegrino. She is a spirit medium who works with John of God in Brazil. Someone asked a question about how to deal with evil and she presented the notion that what we call evil is actually just a separation from God. As a Reiki practitioner for many years, I was taught to clear “negative” energy from the person I was working on before sending Reiki to them. It always seemed a little awkward to me, all this clearing and containing and disposing of other people’s negative energy. Then I heard Eric Pearl speak and read his book and he had the opposite view. He said all this avoidance of ‘negative energy’ was fear-based and unnecessary. I came to the conclusion that he thought there was no such thing.<br />
<br />
So now that begs the question. What is it that you feel when you walk into a room where someone has just had an argument? What is it that people feel when they go to former sites of epic battles or mass human suffering? What is that icky vibe you get from people sometimes? Isn’t <i>that</i> negative energy? As humans we like to categorize and simplify. So light and dark become associated with good and bad, positive and negative. It’s also very convenient to label someone as being “negative” or having ‘negative energy.’ Then we can feel very positive and separate and good.<br />
<br />
But what if we looked at it a different way? What if we thought of energy according to the principles of expansion and contraction, as the yogis have? When we are afraid, we tend to contract – physically, emotionally, energetically. The more fear, the more density and darkness. When we are feeling joyful, we feel expansive, connected, light and free. So what if all that ‘darkness’ and ‘negativity’ is really just fear that we are unwilling to face. We avoid the fear within ourselves, we are repulsed when it appears in others. Yet if we could connect with our own fear compassionately, maybe we could see that contraction in others with the same compassion, rather than with aversion. Then, instead of feeding the fear with more fear, we could allow the possibility of light and love.<br />
<br />
Whaddya think?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-82989565948040174642010-10-14T11:02:00.000-05:002015-09-27T18:21:02.024-05:00Are you a karma buster?I know its been a while since I've posted! 2010 has so far been a fascinating year of insights, observances, wonderful experiences and deep internal struggles. Sometimes I'm not even sure what part of the mix to write about. So, this possibility of "karma busters" peaked my curiosity recently and seemed just "light" enough that I won't use too many words :-) Lemme know what you think...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp5JsMjLGIePESmgef8DYqJimxq_6Mbpy5waFBo97wqSWzoGxM7wT4r0c07JiJKFRF5IETW2vy6ZjqARokJdp7AQejU_YUwewougKY5rOutaGDqg3HqUFf6UN-u4o2X8Gz9j2gTMq31D0/s1600/hummingbird+moth+6-24-10.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp5JsMjLGIePESmgef8DYqJimxq_6Mbpy5waFBo97wqSWzoGxM7wT4r0c07JiJKFRF5IETW2vy6ZjqARokJdp7AQejU_YUwewougKY5rOutaGDqg3HqUFf6UN-u4o2X8Gz9j2gTMq31D0/s200/hummingbird+moth+6-24-10.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
It’s no secret that we’re influenced by generations past. Even on a purely scientific level, there’s the issue of hereditary transmission of genetic conditions and disease tendencies. So when I learned the concept of ‘family karma’ years ago, it had a ring of truth to it. I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea that many of us are on the planet right now to be karma busters – breaking the chain of reactivity that has characterized much of our individual family histories.<br />
<br />
If you think of karma, not this “eye for an eye” concept that it has become in the popular culture, but as a simple system of cause and effect, generational transmission of behavioral or even disease tendencies is not so strange. One generation’s parenting affects the choices of the next and often leads to reactive swings in parenting strategies from one extreme to the next. A family with a history of trauma or addiction (or both) might be able to trace the manifestation of that traumatic effect through generations. Sometimes the original cause of the seeming disfunction is lost in time, and yet the effects remain.<br />
<br />
I had a fascinating Reiki Therapy session last year where an ancestor from generations past spoke about the legacy of fear that she had unwittingly released into my maternal line. She said we were at a point in time when this legacy could be let go. During that time I felt energetic 'chains' being released from my spine. I realized after communicating with her that I had been working for years to break up that legacy – to “bust up” and transform that karma.<br />
<br />
I am blessed to be surrounded by wonderfully mindful and present individuals. Talking to people, I’ve realized that many of us seem to be involved in this karma busting process. Not satisfied with just reacting to the family history, we are mindfully creating a different way – whether it be through parenting, spiritual work or ways of thinking about ourselves and the world. We seem to have come to the planet with a mission to make a change, not just “in society,” but in ourselves. It feels as if we are releasing those bonds so that we can move forward into a different type of future. There is a sense that going forward our children should not have to carry the burden of the past. This is all pretty exciting to me. I wonder, how will this affect the future of our planet?<br />
<br />
Are you a karma buster?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-18171175885218467302010-07-19T13:49:00.002-05:002015-09-27T18:37:47.282-05:00Celebrating Gran<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpAAWYu2HSRDyOKGl5li6RiFcMvxcN47v0JFUv0BKYLrvVL71IQ5F0DSSMQOMs5b2fOslFbzqAtJ3TX55Uq8xAlaSfkeoXO1Yomi_trN4VQ_ZXNKwpLT6CCmOM5Ho4T1dIU0BZ-xvLEtA/s1600/gran.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpAAWYu2HSRDyOKGl5li6RiFcMvxcN47v0JFUv0BKYLrvVL71IQ5F0DSSMQOMs5b2fOslFbzqAtJ3TX55Uq8xAlaSfkeoXO1Yomi_trN4VQ_ZXNKwpLT6CCmOM5Ho4T1dIU0BZ-xvLEtA/s200/gran.jpg" width="192" /></a></div>
I’m writing this post in honor of my grandmother, Alice McKenzie who transitioned last week at the ripe old age of 90. I’m not much for grieving, as strange as that might sound, maybe because I believe that this life is just a stop along the journey of our souls. Or maybe I just need therapy! Sometimes a person’s life can be really sad, and we mourn the circumstances that they had to endure. Sometimes we just miss the person who has passed and we wish to have them still with us. My Gran lived a long and full life, and instead of grieving her passing, I feel more inclined to celebrate her life and give gratitude for her amazing contribution to the world as I know it.<br />
<br />
Many years ago, I heard Carolyn Myss talking about living your purpose. She said (to paraphrase – as I remember it) that we always imagine our purpose to be something big, but for many of us, our purpose is simply to live our lives as we are, being a shining light for those around us. My grandmother was such a light.<br />
<br />
Gran didn’t have a fancy degree or an impressive resume. She raised cows and sold milk in Jamaica to support the education of her children. When the last one graduated from University, she got on a plane - alone - and moved to Brooklyn to start a new life on her own terms. It was a spunky move, she was a spunky lady. She got a job as a domestic worker with a family in Westchester and worked for them for decades. When they retired to Florida she got a job delivering lunches to partners in a law practice. She retired when she was 80. My Gran’s life was difficult at times. Yet, she had a strong faith in God and wasn’t one to feel sorry for herself. She was a woman of action. As a single woman working a simple job when she first arrived in the US, she often sent us barrels containing goods that were not available in Jamaica at the time, or were too expensive there. Eventually, she made it possible for all of us (her children and grandchildren) to join her here in the United States to have the opportunities we might not have had in a small island nation. <br />
<br />
There was never a doubt in my grandmother’s mind that we would all “make something of ourselves.” She was strong in her conviction – tenacious if you will, and her tenacity fueled our family. She died leaving 5 children, 22 grandchildren, 11 great grandchildren and 2 great-great grandchildren (as well as the many in-laws whom she welcomed with open arms). We have a collection among us of various fancy degrees and impressive resumes, but my grandmother left us the gift of seeing beyond all that to our shared humanity. She celebrated our accomplishments, but I think she was always more concerned that we be happy, responsible, able to care for ourselves, and willing to care for each other and those who needed our help. My grandmother suffered in her life at the hands of another. Her response to her suffering has always been a great lesson to me. First, she took action. She made a plan and as soon as the time was right, she left the situation. Then, instead of becoming bitter, she became more compassionate and understanding of the suffering of others. Instead of hating the one who hurt her, she turned her energy to loving us all and to helping us become the best we could be. <br />
<br />
My grandmother taught me that strength is not hard or uncompromising. She taught me that strength is knowing right from wrong, loving fiercely, and making the hard choices to always follow what you think is right. Though sometimes firmness is required, she taught me that a woman can be strong and still compassionate, loving and kind. She taught me that a legacy is more than large gestures and public acclaim. A true legacy is born of living your life in truth and in love. This simple and uncomplicated woman, barely 5 ft tall, affected the lives of so many with her tenacity, spunk, kindness, generosity and open heart. Hers was surely a life well lived. <br />
<br />
My you fly on the wings of the angels, Gran. I love you now, as always.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204549777749765052.post-49163782304047162282010-05-15T16:11:00.001-05:002015-09-27T18:32:24.593-05:00Fear as opportunity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4scqe14kmeRNpXEf99gjwt-MjYFLC2tlrZDv8_jTRQJ-JnTVnCJcL8qz7m-J6ep9hDUIoFhQ2TIVdQX-7TpE6RGsCMcCg1XxBE6HDIf5cSf33lpTuOst27JNLGDW4Fme217ggV5e1SEk/s1600/0034.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4scqe14kmeRNpXEf99gjwt-MjYFLC2tlrZDv8_jTRQJ-JnTVnCJcL8qz7m-J6ep9hDUIoFhQ2TIVdQX-7TpE6RGsCMcCg1XxBE6HDIf5cSf33lpTuOst27JNLGDW4Fme217ggV5e1SEk/s200/0034.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
After the last blog entry I had a question from someone I love dearly that touched me deeply. To paraphrase her question: What if when you start to bring your fears to the surface it seems that there is nothing but more and more fear, and you realize that you’re living your entire life from a place of fear?<br />
<br />
I wish I had a quick and easy answer to that question, but fear is such a huge issue. One thought that kept coming up for me was the judgment of fear as being pathological. I was reminded of this by a comment to my last post. Rather than being a black hole of despair, the recognition of fear can be an opening into a place of seemingly deep mystery – your own mind, heart and soul. It can be opportunity to see the ways we have taken on other people’s ideals and judgments and made them our own without questioning their validity. Recognition of fear gives the opportunity to question the fears themselves and chose whether to continue to live with them, or just let them be. It gives us the opportunity to love & be compassionate toward ourselves because we are fearful, not in spite of it. At the same time we are able to cultivate compassion for all those in the world who also feel overwhelmed by fear. And rather than becoming caught in our fear, we can recognize it as part of the tapestry of life that also includes success, joy, courage, compassion, love and expansiveness.<br />
<br />
Of course frightening things do happen and fear arises as a natural response. Many people – maybe even a neighbor or a friend - live with a real threat of physical harm, sometimes from the very people who are supposed to care for them. For them, vigilance is necessary until a safer environment is possible. Recognizing our own fear and feeling compassion for the fear of others we might see opportunities to help those who suffer from the constant threat of physical harm. From the yogic perspective, the body is not the totality of who we are, and its destruction does not mean our annihilation. But even from this perspective, death or harm of the physical body is one of the last & most difficult fears to be released – and for the sake of human survival, I’d say thankfully so.<br />
<br />
For many of us who have the blessing of living in physically safe circumstances, however, this fear of harm still exists – though perhaps on an unconscious level. Often, regardless of contradictory evidence, there is the fear that we are unable to handle life’s challenges as they arise. At a deep level there is the fear that the threat will lead to death of some kind: “Oh my God, if that happened, I’d just die!” or “It would kill me to not get everything done.” Though we might express it casually in words, this is often not a conscious fear, and yogis would say that what is actually threatened is the “I” or the “ego” – our own perception of who we are, or how we think other people see us: If I don’t succeed, other people will think I’m a failure – or even worse, I might think that of myself; if I loose this job, maybe I’m not good enough to get another one; if I let go of blaming someone else for my fears, I’ll have to take responsibility for my life...<br />
<br />
Years ago I got really tired of being afraid all the time. I was tired of always feeling powerless in the face of life's challenges. Though fear or itself isn't "bad," I doubt anyone would claim it as their favorite emotion! Living from a place of fear can feel like being in prison, knowing you have the key, but still unable to leave. So I sat down and made a list of all my fears and prioritized the list based on level of difficulty. Just the act of naming the fears and making the choice to do something about them diffused some of their power over me. Putting them on paper gave me a chance to question their validity. Deciding to be rid of them offered the possibility that they could be temporary. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghAZ18CxFAugl001k5IFA5pGw5yhI2hEnHpIjOXevKrluEkUfHI8D-39rHcHE9IHF3w8V8bOv_-EJbQzHtkIfLihUCwKLqycCwzG4C-dFksbgv30RtBOtz7utLuGdoZW2fP45QOzC66IE/s1600/0048.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghAZ18CxFAugl001k5IFA5pGw5yhI2hEnHpIjOXevKrluEkUfHI8D-39rHcHE9IHF3w8V8bOv_-EJbQzHtkIfLihUCwKLqycCwzG4C-dFksbgv30RtBOtz7utLuGdoZW2fP45QOzC66IE/s200/0048.jpg" width="200" /></a>Yoga and meditation continue to help with this effort. Strengthening my body, working with the chakras, noticing the ways that I hold fear in my body and learning tools to work with this held energy have also been very helpful. Meditation helped me recognize the difference between presence and avoidance and acknowledge the fleeting nature of emotions. It has also helped to cultivate a witness consciousness – the willingness to view the rise and fall of emotions from a place of stillness and choose whether to stay “caught up” in them or let them go.<br />
<br />
I believe that once you decide to go on an adventure like this, the Universe (God, Source, Higher Self, whatever words you use) supports your intention and the help comes in ways you might not have expected – a chance word, an article in the paper, a book suggestion from a friend or an ad that jumps off the page. Of course it takes courage to acknowledge your fears, and sometimes your hands will shake and your heart will pound as you decide to “just do it.” Fear arises, but since we’re here (on the planet in these bodies), why not explore the possibility that just as a smile passes, fears could pass too – if we let them?<br />
<br />
May you be healthy. May you be happy. May you live with ease.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12875826083596385068noreply@blogger.com5