From Resistance to Appreciation

Yesterday I took my 4 year old daughter son and 9 year old to my meditation teacher training.  I couldn’t find a babysitter and my teacher was gracious enough to suggest bringing them and letting them stay in a room close to our meeting room.  Her suggestion brought an immediate feeling of resistance and fear.

For some parents the thought of bringing their kids is a non-issue, but not so for me with my disciplined Caribbean upbringing.  I had visions of my daughter laughing out loud in the middle of a meditation segment; of people in the class being annoyed by these pesky kids; of having to constantly leave class to attend to them or quiet them down; of them trashing the room they were staying in and in the end of my teacher being displeased with them being there. 

Ah, the workings of the mind and the scenarios it creates to reinforce its resistance!  None of these fears were justified!  My children, though they can be raucous and challenging at home are generally very well behaved in public.  The class is full of other parents and gentle, loving souls who might actually enjoy the sound of a child’s laughter in the midst of their meditation.   And my teacher suggested I bring them!  So the fear, like most fears, was not logical at all.  In fact when examined closely, it was a manifestation of the ego worrying:  “What will people think of me?”  So of course I had to take them!  I also didn’t want to miss the lecture on Chapters 7 & 8 of the Bhagavad Gita (definitely worth reading if you haven’t already!).

Amazingly enough, pushing through my fear actually helped me appreciate my kids even more.  Neither one complained when I explained what was going to happen.  My son did a wonderful job of monitoring and helping his sister.  They occupied themselves with the activities we brought, and he was very quiet the two times he did need to come and get me.  We had to leave early to take him to soccer (especially since we were bringing snacks!) and he kept track of the time so that he changed into his soccer gear before we had to leave.  My daughter made lots of little foam crafts and cleaned up all her scraps.  She had pretty much reached her limit by the time we had to leave (in the middle of the lecture), but still they were both very considerate of being quiet as we left.  

Later that day after soccer, my daughter handed me a juice pack and straw, and sweetly asked:  “Mommy, would you help me with this please?”  In that moment I recognized again the sweetness of their presence in my life.  Even though there might be actual (rather than fear-imposed) limits to what I am able to do as a result of having to care for them, they are such beautiful beings and I am so blessed to know, love and be loved by them.

Happy Earth Day! (We are that)

Happy Earth Day!!  It seems a little ridiculous to say I love the Earth.  After all, without Earth where would this body live? What would this body eat?  Where would this body find a beach to lay on or a garden to dig in? Perhaps there are a million other habitable planets where I could have incarnated, but for this lifetime, at least, Earth is where this body lives.  And it’s a gorgeous planet!  Even with frozen ears walking my daughter to school this morning (40°F here in Chi) it was hard to avoid the beauty of this place I call home:  the newly flowering trees; the sun brilliantly illuminating and gently warming; a robin picking at a worm (I do hope those things don’t have well developed nervous systems – that robin was picking it off piece by piece – yikes!); our favorite red-winged blackbird singing it’s glorious song in it’s favorite tree; a duck with its head tucked under its wing standing by a mud “pond” left from a mound of melted snow; majestic swamp white oaks…  And to top it all off, all those amazing humans making their way about.

We are Nature!  When did we forget that?  We talk about being in Nature, or observing Nature, or balancing the ecosystem, or protecting the Environment, but somehow these minds that have created so much separation have not only separated us from each other, but from the very stuff of that we are.  Is a tree "in Nature"?  Does Alex the bunny who lives in my backyard think he's "in Nature"? No! He's just part of the whole thing.  Chicago's motto is Urbs in Horto (the city in a garden) so we have lots of trees and green space.  It’s so refreshing to walk outside, and see flowers and look at the sky, because there’s a sense of connection that comes almost automatically – a deep “ahh” – a coming home. 

This Earth Day let’s celebrate ourselves as Nature with all its expansive amazingness.  So when we care for our Earth, we’re caring for ourselves.  And when we care for ourselves, we’re taking care of all of Nature.

Here's an easy way to send some love to ourselves for 2 minutes.

Namaste ☺